Both Sides of the Story Part 2
by amida kawanishi
Summary: Part 2 of 2 so far, anyway... We're up to 7 chapters now! Yay! Yusuke and Keiko get caught up in passion's fury on Christmas night. But, Yusuke pushes Keiko away... why? Thanks for your all your reviews thus far and your patience. Please enjoy! Much love!
1. Prologue, Reminiscing

**Part 2**

**Prologue**

Where am I . . .? I looked all around me. . . only to see nothingness. No light or . . . well, come to think of it, no darkness either. Just space. No one's here, I said to myself. I had no other option so I walked straight ahead.

"Hello?" I said outloud after walking for a few minutes. Hmm. . . No answer came. "_Dammit . . ._ where the _hell _am I . . .!?"

"Yusuke . . ." I heard a sweet voice calling my name. The perfect answer to my call. I turned around . . . and saw. . . _her_.

"Keiko . . . Why are you here . . .?" I ran up to her and I hugged her tightly.

"I need to be near you . . . now . . . and forever . . ." she whispered. Keiko pulled away from my arms and placed a hand on my face.

"How long have you been waiting here . . .?"

"I don't know . . . It's so dark . . . and . . . I'm so afraid . . ." Just as she said this, the space around us grew dark. . .so dark that I couldn't even see Keiko even though she was so close.

"The hell. . ." I said quietly confused. I could sense Keiko's fear.

"Yusuke. . .?" she said back to me, her voice shaking. I brought her closer to me. I kissed her gently trying to ease away her fears.

"Stay close to me . . . I'm won't let you go . . . I promise . . ." I felt her grab onto my shirt.

"Take me home . . ." she begged me, holding on. I obeyed. We began our walk together in the darkness. As we walked, I could feel cold soil between my toes. It's coolness sent a shiver through me, our bodies cold. We have to be getting somewhere, I thought. I have to get her back to where she belongs. I can't let Keiko down . . . again. I squeezed her hand, feeling how cold it was. " . . . You're so cold . . ."

"I need . . . your warmth . . ." she said quietly. "I want . . . your heat . . ." I looked at her. Her words, though simple, were full of a strange emotion. But for some reason, I couldn't tell what it was.

"What do you mean . . .?" I asked, confused, but somehow intrigued. We stopped walking and suddenly she could be seen as could I. We looked at each other in this new-found light.

"Please . . ." she whispered. " . . . Kiss me . . ." Her voice was low and sexy. . . almost asking me to do more than kiss her. But that was exactly what I did. I leaned in and let my lips meet with hers. She wrapped her slender arms around my neck. I pulled her closer, trying to give her every last drop of warmth that I could feel within me. Our kiss ended moments later. I placed my hand on her cheek, letting my fingers brush through her hair. She closed her beautiful, loving, brown eyes and smiled as if basking in our kiss though it had already ended.

" . . . Keiko . . . I've loved you for so long . . . I'm sorry that I keep letting you down . . ." I said to her, my body hot from our kiss. I shook my head and said, "Forgive me . . . for taking so long . . . to tell you how I feel . . . to come to you . . ." She opened her eyes slowly and looked at me. I pulled her in and kissed her again. I cautiously pushed my tongue into her mouth and tried to give her the last of the heat in my body. She leaned back as I pushed on her, a quiet moan coming into my mouth as she clutched my shirt. I wanted to go deeper, but I couldn't. . . I wanted to pull her into me. . . and to be pulled into her. . . but I came up out of our kiss before that could happen. When I pulled away from her, I just looked at her again. I was shocked by what I saw.

Her eyes . . . they . . . changed from brown to green . . . then _red _. . . right in front of me. It reminded me of a demon's eyes when they get angry after I've kicked their ass. . . but her eyes were much more threatening. . . much more piercing. Her eyes _glared _at me now. . . _hating _my guts. . . and perhaps wishing for my death. I stepped back from her, scared. Did I do something wrong? I asked her in my mind. Again? But then her hand came up and slapped me . . . _**hard**_. I fell back onto the cold ground, my body twisted by the strength of the hatred in the palm of her hand.

"_** . . . I hate you . . . Yusuke . . .**_" she shouted. " 'I'm sorry' isn't good enough. Damn you!" I put my hand up to my face and looked at her. Her blood red eyes glowed, filling with tears, breaking me. She acted as though to say something else. She turned her back to me and started walking away.

" . . . Keiko . . . Come back . . .!"

"I _never_ . . .want to see you . . . ever _again_ . . .!" I reached for her . . . but . . . she was too suddenly too far away.

"Please . . . KEIKO!!" She was disappearing into the darkness, the sound of her footsteps getting further and further. "Please. . . Come back . . .!"

**Chapter 1- Reminiscing **

I sat up in my bed, sweating. I was breathing heavily. "Damn!" I yelled, punching the bed that sat between my legs. I laid back down and tried to catch my breath. I've had that same, exact dream everyday ever since the beginning of December. I looked over at the corner of my room. This reoccurring dream . . . I'm sick and tired of it! I laid there under my blanket twisting . . . turning . . . in some sort of torment. I couldn't get back to sleep. Angry and pretty damn frustrated, I sat back up again, dripping in sweat. I think about her . . . so much nowadays. I haven't talked to her in over a month . . . Well . . . since what happened on Christmas anyway . . .

I got out of my bed and went over to my window. I opened the curtains and peered out though I knew there was nothing to see out there. What a monthit's been. . .serious, I announced to myself.

A month _without her_ is . . . almost unbearable. . .

I reached down and pulled my shirt up and over my head. Dammit . . . Damn women! I angrily threw my sweaty shirt on the floor and sat down on the edge of my bed. Every time I have this dream . . . It reminds me of how much . . . I miss her.

Her kisses . . .

Her hugs . . .

Her . . . _love_.

Oh God, I said, fighting the urge to punch myself. I sound so fucking sappy. I just wish that I could take my mind off of her. . .for just _one _moment . . . but its just so hard. I tried to shake away the thought of her as she danced around in my mind.

Her lips . . .

Her eyes . . .

Her . . . body. . .

My memories of her are the only things that have gotten me through this long month. I wonder . . . if she feels . . . the same way. I stood up and walked to the door. After leaving the room, I walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. Sitting in the dark, I searched for my remote. After a moment, I found it and hit the 'on' button. Bored and not really caring about shit, I just started cruising through the channels. In the end, I stopped on a channel and watched some corny soap opera.

I wasn't really watching the show. In fact . . . I wasn't all that interested. I couldn't pay attention to what was happening on the screen. I looked on, unable to focus on the moving pictures. Her name kept repeating in my mind. 'Keiko . . .' 'Keiko . . .' 'Keiko . . .' I've missed you so much for such a long time, dammit . . . an eternity is what it feels like . . . I looked up at the ceiling and slowly closed my eyes. Maybe I'm going crazy . . . but . . . I guess . . . It's worth it. I smiled to myself. I could see her in my mind. Memories of her . . . of us. Long lost memories . . .

Since our parents were kinda like good friends back in the good ol' days, we just . . . kinda . . . grew up together. It seemed like we were always near each other somehow, annoying each other. Of course there were certain barriers between us at first . . . Come on . . .! She was a girl and I was a boy. As we got older, she got boobs and I tried to touch 'em. She was smart, I was dumb. She was good, and I was bad. Well, I guess that was how it was between us. . . There was always an attraction though. . . and undeniable and noticable force that always pulled me toward her. . . Hmm. . .

But in the scheme of things, I'm jumping way ahead of myself. After our first day of school, all that acquaintances stuff was gone. I can clearly remember that day. It was about twelve or thirteen years ago. We were only five, maybe six, years old at the time. We were so young back then. I remember Keiko being picked on by some_ fat _kid and I didn't like how he was treating her. I had been watching him all day. He was pushing her around and making her cry. I couldn't stand for it any longer. At lunch time that day . . . I was gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .at least, what bit I thought I had. . .

"Hey tubby . . . Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" I told him, holding my soda can in one hand. He turned around and looked down at me. Keiko looked at me from over his shoulder. " . . . Yeah . . . I 'm talkin' to you, tubby boy!" I said to him although he looked more like a baby sumo wrestler.

"Why won't you do something about it . . .?" asked Tubby. He flicked my forehead with his finger and I stumbled back a little. Keiko stood there, frightened, behind him.

"I think we can solve this . . . without any violence . . .y'know, like gentlemen," I told him, sipping more of my soda.

"Really . . .?" The tubby boy looked interested. "What do you want . . .?"

"If I give you . . . my sandwich and my . . . strawberry Pocky for a week . . . Will you leave her alone?" The tubby kid thought about my offer.

"Make it two weeks and it's a deal." I looked at Keiko and sipped my soda.

"Fine," I told him. He pushed Keiko toward me and I caught her before she hit the ground.

"Live up to your promise, alright?" The fat kid turned and walked away. I shook my fist at him, pretending like I was goin' to kick his ass.

"Thank you . . . Yu-kun . . ." she said to me, before correcting herself when she remembered I hated being called that name. "I mean, Yusuke. . ." I nodded to her. She was so quiet.

"Were you going to let him do that to you . . .?" I asked. She looked down at the ground.

" . . . No . . ." she answered quietly. I patted her on the shoulder.

"I can't protect you forever. First time . . . It's free. But . . . if it happens again . . . it'll cost you," I told her, sipping up the last bit of soda I had left. "I thought you were tougher than that, Keiko . . . You need to get some guts . . .!" She stared at me. Her eyes began to water. I could tell that she still felt uneasy about the turn of events.

"Yusuke . . . I'm sorry . . . You won't have much of a lunch . . .without a sandwich . . . or the Pocky . . ." I laughed at her apology. I shrugged at her and smiled.

"Oh cheer up . . . I'll survive, Keiko. I'll pack two sandwiches. And besides, Pocky's not really my favorite candy. .. "

"Oh . . . Okay . . ." She smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You have a nice smile, Keiko . . ." I said. She blushed at my words.

" . . . Really . . .?" she asked, her cheeks getting redder and redder by the moment.

"Yeah . . ." I answered. "So . . . you should spend more time smilin' instead of thinkin' about my lunch, okay?"

"O-Okay . . ." she said, her smile getting bigger.

"And don't worry about tubby anymore," I told her. I was happy that Keiko was beginning to feel a little better. So . . . I decided that I was going to make her laugh. I tried to crumple the can the best way I could with my pudgy little hands. She looked at me curiously.

"Yusuke, what are you doing . . .?" she asked.

"You'll see . . ." I aimed the best I could . . . and then I threw the empty can and hit the tubby kid in the head. Bulls-Eye! Keiko gasped . . . and then started giggling. I enjoyed her reaction.

"Who did that . . .!?" yelled Tubby.

"Sorry about that . . ." I waved at the kid. The tubby kid came stumping back toward me. I smiled as he closed in on me and Keiko. "Did you come to register a complaint, sir?"

"You'll pay for that . . ." He drew back his hand . . . and punched me square in the face. I stumbled backward and fell down. Keiko ran to me and bent down . . .

"Are you okay, Yu-kun?" she asked with worry in her eyes.

"I'm okay," I told her. "And I thoght I told you stop callin' me that!!" I added, shouting at her!

"I'm sorry!" she said. All the kids started crowding around us screaming 'Fight!' 'Fight!' 'Fight!' I stood up and faced the fat kid.

"Is that the best . . . you can do?" I asked, smiling. I ran toward him, aiming to punch him in the stomach. I tripped over his leg.

"Give up while you have the chance . . ." he said, smirking at me.

"Oh, I'll get you!" The kid punched me in the face. . . again. I hit the ground with a huge smack. I got back up and ran toward him. I was going straight for the eyes . . .

"Stop . . .!" yelled Keiko. "Stop it!" I stopped running and I looked at Keiko. She walked up to the fat kid and . . . did something that I didn't expect. She . . . she slapped him. The boy went crashing down into the ground like a bowl of ramen noodles. Keiko ran over to me. "Yusuke . . . are you okay . . .?"

"I told you before . . . I'm fine . . ."

"Oh . . . Okay." She walked over to the wounded fat kid and bent down. "Are you okay . . .?" He clutched his face and nodded. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry . . . but you deserved it . . ." Teachers came running toward us from all directions. They took us all to the office. We all, of course, got in trouble. Neither I or Keiko got into any serious trouble though. Well, that's a lie actually. I got in quite a bit of trouble. But . . . all the same . . . I felt sorry for getting her in trouble. She forgave me and _I guess _you can say we were buddies ever since . . . I guess! We always did things together, but, I guess, after that incident, we started hanging out even more. Even though she was a girl . . . I didn't really care anymore. Wherever I was, she was there and everywhere she went, I came too. I guess you can say we became more fond of each other as more time passed . . .

I opened my eyes and smiled. "Fond memories, I guess. . ." I whispered to myself. Things weren't as complicated back then as they are now. I mean, she's really goin' places. . . and me? I'm just some ex-spirit detective. I started laughing as I thought about that school memory again. She probably doesn't even remember that. I laughed to myself. Hell no. . .who'd fuck want to remember that tubby little munchkin. . .? I directed my attention back to the television. Some weird Japanese prank show was on, a show that I'd normally watch. . . but it was a re-run of some old episode I'd seen plenty of times. Boring . . . I thought. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes again . . . I slowly . . . began drifting into another . . . memory . . .

I remember after the Demon World tournament. It was a few weeks after I had returned. . . at least I think it was. . . Yeah. Well, in the days that followed, Keiko and I seemed to be getting closer . . . but we were still more like friends. We ended up at Keiko's house this one day. In fact . . . we were in her room. She was going to help me out . . . with . . . with what . . .? Oh yeah . . . I remember! She was trying to help me with some damn math and biology that was supposed to be covered on the entrance exam of the high school that Keiko was going to. She was attending this really nice school and was trying to help me finish the year, despite all that I had missed, with her. We were sitting next to each other at her work desk. The work was so boring. It dragged on . . . and . . . on . . .

"Yusuke . . .!" I heard her faintly talking while I stared out of the window. "Yusuke . . .!?"

"Huh? . . . Oh . . . sorry."

"That's the third time you stopped paying attention in the last the twenty minutes." I looked at her and rubbed the back of my head.

"Hey . . . I said I was sorry. . . This isn't really happy hour, Keiko. I mean, I gotta admit. It's more peaceful, but Spirt World definitely had a lot more goin' on. . ." She narrowed her eyes. She smacked me on the back of my head. "Hey!"

"Look here, Yusuke . . . I'm not going to waste my time helping someone who doesn't want to help themselves. You . . . you don't even want to learn . . ."

"School's just so boring . . . Too many damn codes . . . too many rules . . ."

"Well . . . I don't care if you like it or not . . . You still have to go!"

"Hey. . .I need to get accepted first. . . Geez. . ." I leaned back in my chair. "What's the rush?"

"Well, you're still struggling in all the subjects. . . To be completely honest, I don't know how you're gonna get into _this _high school."

"_Hey . . . what the __**hell**__ is that supposed to mean!?" _She leaned toward me and gave me a small kiss on the cheek, causing me to forget what I was talking about.She gently rested her hand on my shoulder.

"That's why I'm here though . . . I want to help . . ." She gave me a warm smile. I turned away from her and started writing. Why'd she have to smile like that? She looked . . . well . . . she looked kinda . . . beautiful. I'll work . . . I told myself. I'll work . . . for her. I started writing down some notes on some memorization cards. I just wrote down random things here and there. She looked over my shoulder as I wrote. I felt her breathing in my ear. I closed my eyes, feeling her air brushing against my skin. "Yusuke . . . Don't fall asleep!" Her hand tapped my head. I began saying something but . . . I changed my mind.

I looked at the clock on the desk. It read 6:32. I sighed and I started writing out equations and formulas. This is so boring, I kept thinking to myself. I continued writing though. Keiko worked on her own homework along side me. She answered all of my questions to the best of her abilities. . .which was pretty damn good. I was actually getting the hang of it when I ran into a cluster of stupid questions.

"Damn numbers . . .!" I shouted.

"What's wrong?" She leaned over to see what I was doing.

"This is so stupid. I've been trying this crappy excuse of a problem for days," I said, pointing at my paper, exaggerating. She looked at my paper, trying to figure out where I went wrong. She started laughing silently.

"What in the hell is so funny?"

"Yusuke . . . Since when has twelve divided by two equal t0 five!? Is this what you call complicated . . .!? How could you have made such a . . . mistake . . .?" She started laughing really hard. I grabbed the paper from her and looked at it.

"The hell I did . . ." I looked closer. "Oh . . ." She giggled as I smiled at her.

"Maybe you should take a break . . ." she said. I pulled away from the table and stood up. I went over to her bed and sat down. I tried to let my mind relax for the first time in hours. I looked at Keiko with her back toward me.

"Aren't you going to take a break too?" I asked her. She turned around for a minute.

"I'm going to finish this first . . ." She turned back around and continued to work. I looked at her back. Damn girls . . . I thought. They always think they're better . . . that they're smarter. She's so strange . . . sometimes, I thought to myself. But . . . I find myself thinking about her . . . so much. Huh. . . I even thought about her when I was in Spirit World. I shook off my thoughts and I got up and went to go see what she was doing. I leaned over her shoulder, taking a closer look.

"So . . . what are you doin'?" She glanced at me.

"I'm doing my biology homework. I've got a huge exam at the end of the week."

"Is that so . . .?" I asked, not really caring.

"Yes . . . it is." I continued to look over her shoulder. I looked at the words in the book and started reading them aloud.

"When homeostasis, or the body's balance, is thrown off . . ." I read. " . . . there can be serious damage brought onto the body." She looked up at me. A surprised expression was on her beautiful face. "What?" I asked as I met with her eyes.

"I'm shocked you know how to pronounce _homeostasis_," she said, giggling.

"Wow . . . Sounds interesting . . ." I said, rolling my eyes. "You've been studying longer than I have and yet you won't take a break . . .? You're crazy."

"I don't care what you think, Yusuke . . . I actually care about my grades . . . unlike other _boys_ I know."

"Ha . . . Ha . . . Very funny . . ." I said sarcastically. "Keiko, there's really no point in me taking a break . . . if you're not going to take it with me . . ."

There was a silence after I said that. I could almost hear the clock thingies ticking in her head. I heard her pencil fall onto the desk as she stopped writing. Moments later, she turned around and looked at me.

"If I take a _ten minute_ break, will you shut up? Some of the brains in this room are trying to function . . ." I ignored her comment. She stood up and stretched. I watched as she walked over to me and sat down.

"Ain't that better . . .?" I asked. "If life were all about work, then I would be stuck in spirit world." I smiled at her.

"Whatever," she said, waving off my philosophy. "I'm going to go get a snack . . . You want anything . . .?"

"Do you have any . . . fruit?"

"Apples, oranges, peaches, bananas, watermelon . . ."

"Though watermelon seems tempting. . . I'll take a banana, Kei. . ." She walked out, leaving me alone on her bed."ko. . ." I finished for the sake of finishing. Man, today is taking forever, I thought to myself. I don't think I'd mind it as much if her room weren't so girly. I started chuckling to myself. I looked at the digital clock sitting on her desk. It's 7:15, huh? I looked toward the door, sensing Keiko's return. And I was right. She walked to me. She handed me the banana and sat back down next to me.

"Bananas are full of what, Yusuke . . .?" I looked at her with banana in my cheek.

"What?"

"What do you find in bananas?"

"That yellow stick thing. . ." I answered, trying to sound smart. "Ha, it's fruit . . . duh . . ."

"I talking about nutritional-wise . . ."

"How the hell am I supposed to know . . .? I really don't care . . ." I looked at her.

"Potassium."

"_Pote_ what?"

"Po-tas-si-um," she said, laughing at me. Who the hell cares about this crap? I mean, who actually asks people about bananas . . .?

"I don't give a flying fuck about what the hell is inside this damn banana!" I said.

"It's just a useful fact . . ." She smiled warmly at me. My thoughts melted away. Keiko, your smile is so . . . cute, I said to myself. I loved her smile. . . even back then. Her smile was always so graceful and sweet, welcoming me to crack one back at her. An urge inside of me pushed me forward, wanting to get a little closer to her. I looked at how her lips curled up into the perfect grin . . . so soft those lips appeared to be. I want to . . . touch those lips, I said to the urge inside of me. I leaned slowly toward her, moving closer to her face.

"Yusuke . . . What are . . . you doing . . .?" she asked me, with apple in her mouth, leaning away from me slightly. Oh Shit! I regained my senses.

"Nothing . . ." I answered. "You've got some . . . apple there . . . on your shirt." I pointed to her chest, where one of the buttons of her shirt lay. She looked down and quickly looked back up again.

"You pervert!" she shouted as she slapped me.

"I wasn't trying to be disgusting or anything . . ." I said, rubbing my pulsating cheek. "How do I cop a feel with a pointed finger, Keiko? Geez. . . that's the last time I tell you that you're covered in food." Keiko narrowed her eyes a me again.

"You make it sound like I'm a pig . . .!" she shouted.

"That's because _you are_ . . .!" I shouted back. I bit into the last part of my banana and stood up. I walked to the waste basket. I turned around and stood there, gawking at her. I imagined her as a pig, stuffing apples in her face, pieces flying all around the room. Her big hamhock butt just rollin' around. The mere image of it got me going. . . I started laughing to myself. She took the last bite of her apple and walked over to me. I saw her face change into a smile. I knew she was laughing to herself too. She dropped the apple core into the trash and went back to her desk. She paused and looked up at me . . . I couldn't hold it in anymore.

We both exploded with laughter. And it wasn't until a few minutes later that we finally calmed down. . .

She looked down at her work and continued to giggle quietly. I guess I should get back to work too, I told myself, still laughing. I pulled out the chair next to Keiko's and I sat down. I opened up my biology book again and started relunctantly reading. I looked over at her, peeping at the work she insisted upon getting finished. She looked over at me and quickly diverted her eyes.

"Keep your eyes on your book, Yusuke . . . Looking at my work isn't going to help you get into this school now, is it?" I went back to my studies. I just looked at the pictures for a while. An animal. . . then some words. . . and look! Some more words. . . But I couldn't keep it up too much longer . . . I started reading . . . and . . . dozing . . . off. "Yusuke!" I felt a hand pinch my cheek.

"Dammit . . . !" I shouted.

"Stay awake . . . _or leave_ . . .!" I looked at her.

"Did you have to pinch me . . . _Damn_, that hurt . . .!" She went back to her work, ignoring what I had to say. I started reading the stupid words on the stupid page again, more irritated than sore. I tried to concentrate on what the lesson was about . . . 'Don' t fall asleep' I told myself, mocking Keiko in my mind. She looked over at my book and smiled. "Look at _your _book . . . Keiko!" I mocked her, this time out loud.

"That's the hardest lesson in the book," she said, giggling.

"If you don't have any good news, then keep it to yourself . . ." I directed my attention back to my dumb-ass book.

"Alright," she said as she shrugged, going back to her own work. I turned the page to do some more reading . . . just _**crap**_ . . . I turned another page . . . more _**crap**_. . . and yet another turn lead to. . . Guess what? Yet more _**crap**_. . . again a thousand times over . . .! She closed her books and started packing them away. "You done already?"

"Pretty much . . ." she said. She sat on the floor, still packing away her things. I looked at the clock. It was about to turn eight. I continued to read. I don't understand any of this garbage, I thought. But I kept reading anyway. I sat there for God knows how long, reading word after senseless word . . . This is so damn _**BORING**_. . .! I screamed out in my over-taxed brain.Keiko sat down next to me again.

"Do you need any help . . .?"

"Yeah . . ." I flipped through the next thirty-five pages. "If you helped me with this . . . I'd be set for life . . .!" She laughed.

"We'll continue this study session tomorrow . . ." she said, still laughing. She reached up and closed my book for me. I turned in my chair to face her.

"I must study all night . . .!" I said, trying to act like some smart ass from school. I was making a pretty damn good attempt to act dramatically. "If I want to make it in this world . . . I'll have to be more than just an ordinary guy . . . I hafta be some dude that recalls shit that no one else remembers. . ."

"Yusuke . . . you'll be fine . . ." Keiko reasurred me, despite all the things she'd said before. "You're so much more . . . than an just an ordinary guy . . . already." She paused and looked away for a second. Her words took me by surprise. I couldn't help but see her cheeks glow a bit. Then she looked at me again and continued. "We'll just have to find your work pace . . . somehow. . ."

"Thanks . . ." I told her, a bit flattered that she still _wanted _to help me. She stared into my eyes and I couldn't help but stare back. Those eyes, though beautiful, pierced me. I enjoyed being so close to her . . . without us yelling at each other about something stupid that I probably did. The urge to get closer only tugged on my heart as I reached out and touched her hand, feeling the softness of her skin . . . Quietly, we sat there. . . and she let me rest my hand on hers without a word. Then without really giving it any thought . . . I placed my hand onto her face, her cheek so warm underneath my palm, her hair swaying against my finger tips. She gasped very quietly as I leaned in closer to her, nearing her lips.

" . . . What . . . what are you doing . . .?" she whispered, her voice quivering slightly. I stopped close to her mouth. Perhaps I intended to tease her. . . but being that close to her face proved to be a dumb bluff on my part. I felt pulled in by her eyes and I knew that what I was doing was bold, but dammit . . . I just had to do it! I could no longer fight the urge _to kiss her _. . . the same urge I had felt before when she was eating her apple. I could feel how nervous she was as I breathed on her face. Hey, I was nervous too! For some reason, I wanted this to be perfect . . . for her sake. I didn't want to go too fast either . . . but still . . . it wasn't like she was trying to stop me. Keiko looked into my eyes, astonished . . . yet inviting me. I moved toward her with caution, trying to give her the chance to turn me down . . . but she never did. Slowly . . . I let my lips brush against hers before I let my lips press on, softly and gently. I remember that her lips were so much warmer than I had expected; they were so soft . . . so gentle against my lips. Whether it was a short kiss . . . or a long one . . . I'll never know. I eventually pulled away and looked at her, her eyes slowly opening to look at me in return.

"Thanks . . ." I told her, moving my thumb on her soft cheek. " . . . for helping me . . ." She quietly cleared her throat. I reluctantly lowered my hand from Keiko's face. She quickly lowered her head and looked down at the ground, her cheeks glowing pink before she could hide them from me. I smiled at her as she put her hands on her knees.

" . . .You're . . ." she started, hesitating. " . . . you're welcome . . ."

I opened my eyes and looked at the television. _Our first kiss _. . . I thought to myself. Well, it was actually our second kiss. Our first one wasn't too long before that one; it was after I had come back from the Demon World tournament. I couldn't help but smile at one of our sweetest memories. I chuckled to myself, thinking about how so much had changed in the few months that had passed since that kiss had happened. I looked toward the window, seeing spurts of light peeking through. It's morning. I stood up and walked back to my room. I think I'll sleep-in today. I sat down on my bed and looked at the clock that sat on the dresser. Oh man . . . It's 7:35. I probably won't be able to get back to sleep anyway. I guess I should get ready to go to school. Defeated, I stood back up and walked to the radio. I clicked it on and waited for music play.

"We'll be getting back to the jams you love in just a moment! Hello . . . if you are just tuning in . . . welcome." I listened on, not very interested in what they had to say. "Today . . . We're expecting awesome weather and good temperatures all over Japan. January 31st _can_ and _will _be a good day for _you_!" I clicked off the radio and sat down on my bed.

"Keiko . . ." I whispered as her sweet face appeared in my mind again.

My first love . . . . I said these words to myself, almost embarassed, but then I let the words come out. . . just like they were supposed to. "My . . . only love. . ." I said now, louder so my heart could actually hear it. Today is your birthday. It's my chance. . . to fix what's gone so wrong. I nodded in agreement with thought. I have to tell you, Keiko . . . Today!


	2. Do it for Her

**Chapter 2- Do it . . . for Her**

Today should be a good day . . .

This is what I told myself as some sad-ass excuse to try convince myself that Keiko's birthday would somehow be special. I can speak to her . . . tell her how I really feel! I laid down, thinking of her.

Oh, I can just feel the good vibes! I cheered to myself.

But what will I say to her. . .?

How will I say it . . .?

I hope she'll be happy to see me when I come. I started feeling, dare I say, giddy about our reunion.

Geez, listen to me . . . I sound like a bitch . . .getting all giggly and stuff! I looked at my clock. Okay . . . 7:40. If I get going now, I might be able to meet her _before _school. I was shocked about how anxious I was to get up and out so much earlier than I normally would. Alright, I told myself. No more bitch-like behavior. I need to be manly and presentable. I got off of my bed and walked to the closet. Good ol' uniform. I stepped into my pants just moments before throwing on my white t-shirt. I tossed on the last piece of my uniform and ran to the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the dirty mirror. Though I was tempted to clean it, I didn't. I just started fiddling around with my hair. I . . . guess I'll slick it back today, I said to myself with a nod. I opened up some grease and I smoothed it into my hair. I continued working until my hair looked perfect. What is that sound . . .? There's someone talking. I put the comb down and ran out of the bathroom.

I went back to my room and packed all my of my (undone) homework away. What in the hell is that sound coming from . . .? It's getting annoying, I said to myself while trying to figure out what it was. Extremely irritated, I left the room with my book bag in hand. I walked down the hallway and stopped in the living room door. Oh . . . The damn T.V's still on . . . I picked up the remote and turned it off. Another case solved, I chuckled to myself. Now, where in the hell are my keys? I asked myself, looking in the kitchen. They were sitting next to the refrigerator. Do I want anything to eat this morning? I asked before answering in my head, I guess I'll pass; if I move fast enough, I might run into her. I stepped out of the door and stopped to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. When I realized that everything was as it should be, I slammed the door behind me.

I practically jumped down from the second floor. I ran as fast as I could down the sidewalk. With each step, all I could see was the fantastic meeting of me and Keiko. . .and how we'd make amends. . . ha. . . and maybe kiss a couple of times. I looked down at my watch I said ". . . Yeah . . . I'm makin' good time!" It was only 7:47. "I guess I'll slow down . . . I mean . . . I've got all day to see her . . ." I slowed down my pace to a brisk walk, allowing my excitement to see Keiko simmer a little. I walked cautiously making sure I didn't run into any trouble. I slowed down to a complete stop when I kept hearing a strange sound behind me.

It was like this zipping sound. . . like someone was in flight nearby. . . but only for seconds at a time.

Someone's following me, I figured quietly. I turned around and looked. "Hmm . . . No one's there . . ." I said under my breath, still not convinced. I continued to walk slowly, still hearing the sound behind me. I turned around quickly and caught a glimpse of a black shadow. " . . . Hiei?"

"Damn you . . .! You've got good ears." Hiei landed, smirking. ". . . but I guess I shouldn't be surprised." I looked at him, confused by his appearance. Almost instinctively in tune with my confusion, he said, "I was just jumping around up there . . ." He pointed upward to the sky " . . . on the lamp posts when I saw you pass by . . ." I glanced up and then back down at him again.

"What are you doing here in the human world . . .?"

"I'm actually looking for Kurama . . ." he told me, an irritated look appearing on is face. "Koenma is trying to find him for some stupid reason. Hell if I'd know what that reason was though. . ."

"Are you part of a search party . . . or is it just you?"

"Koenma sent me _alone _. . . Honestly . . . I thought Koenma would bring his dumpy ass down here . . ." Hiei said, partially laughing at his own words. "I guess I was wrong. It's not like I give a shit or anything though . . ." I laughed at his comment.

"So are you going to keep looking . . .?" I asked him. Hiei yawned.

"Probably not . . ." We stood there in an awkward silence. I looked down at my watch, realizing that I had just lost some time.

"Well . . . I gotta go . . . I have to go see Keiko . . .!"

"What for . . .?"

"Today's her birthday . . . and . . . well . . . we haven't really spoken . . . in a while . . ."

"Is she ignoring you . . .?" Hiei asked, looking a little more interested now. I shrugged.

"No . . ."

"Let me guess . . . You fucked up, right? Did you?"

"Hell no . . .!" I yelled. ". . . It's not like that!" Hiei snickered at my defense.

"Whatever the hell happened . . . It's your problem . . . I won't intrude, " he said to me, snickering at the mystery. And with that . . . Hiei disappeared.

"Well . . . I'll see you around too . . . _Hiei_!" I shouted. Wasting my time . . . who the hell does he think he is? I continued to walk down the street, looking for a place where she could be. "Where are you . . . Keiko . . .?" I said outloud though I'd meant for it be in my head. I sped up, looking down at my watch. "Dammit . . .!" I shouted. "How in the hell could it be 8:00 already . . .!?" I stopped, trying to catch my breath which didn't take very long. "How in the hell can I find her in twenty-five minutes?!" I walked, passing and bumping people.

I can find her . . . I _know _I can. . .

I stopped in front of some sort of shop. I looked at the window, trying to find out what kind of shop it was. I don't remember this place, I said to myself, struggling to recall it. I touched the window and pressed my face into it. Hmm. . . What is this place . . .? I saw people sitting, talking . . . drinking _coffee_. Oh . . . This is the _coffee shop, _I realized. I looked on down the glass to find a sign that said_ The Best Coffee in Japan_ on it. "I don't see the appeal. . . but I know Keiko likes this sort of thing . . ." I said, looking at the people who were only a few sheets of sturdy glass away. I went over to a sign to look at it more closely though I could see it clearly from where I had stood before. Maybe I'll come here someday, I said to myself. With Keiko. . .

I looked into the window in hopes of seeing Keiko. What were the chances? But I held out anyway. I just stood there like a damn fool who couldn't afford a drop of coffee. I could see people walking behind me in the glass, looking at me like I was crazy. After a few minutes, my patience was wearing thin and I was starting to lose hope. Well . . . I guess I'll continue my search . . .

I started to walk away when I saw a familiar person sitting near the window. I don't know how I missed his red hair, but I could clearly see it now. Hey . . . it's Kurama! I walked over to wave at him when my eyes fixed themselves on what I'd been looking for all morning. . .

I saw _her_. . . _Keiko_. . .

Kurama was sitting with her and . . . they were talking. I was mesmerized by her face as if I hadn't seen her in years. But I couldn't help myself. She looked. . . sad. . .maybe even a bit irritated. . . but definitely pretty, as always. I tried not to stare at her too long, so I diverted my attention and pretended to look at the sign again. I kept glancing to see was going on and was shocked to notice that Kurama never looked at me. . .

. . . But Keiko did . . .

When she looked at me, I couldn't help but look back. Her eyes . . . were so beautiful, shining even. I wanted to reach through the window and touch her kind face. At least I found her, I thought. But she's busy . . . talking to Kurama. I didn't want to interrupt their talk, which was probably important. I kept looking at her as she took her eyes away from mine, punishing me. Keiko. I saw her expression change as she quickly turned away from me. I guess I deserve that, I admitted to myself. I continued to look for just a few more moments and decided that I'd leave them alone. I turned and walked away from the window.

I was so happy to see her. She looked well, I told myself. I wonder why she's there with Kurama. . . Could Kurama be trying to . . . _flirt _with her . . .? My suspicions asked me. I almost believed them, but I tossed them aside. No . . . Kurama isn't interested in being in relationships. I kept walking. Why couldn't you be alone though? I asked her in my mind. I could've joined in if Kurama weren't there . . . with you. I sighed in defeat before continuing on in my thoughts. It might have been less awkward if she were there with some of her girlfriends. But it's not his fault if Kurama's a nice guy. Yeah. . . That's what it is! I reassured myself. He's probably trying to be nice. She's in good hands.

I walked down the sidewalk, trying to get rid of the all the thoughts I had in my mind. . . about her. I was getting closer and closer to the school. I looked down at my watch. Well . . . It's 8:20. I continued to walk down the sidewalk . . . alone. This is the first time I've been early to school all week. I saw some kids walking toward the school too. Maybe I should start some havoc, I told myself, smiling at the mere thought of smackin' a couple of heads. Now would be the perfect opportunity to raise some hell! This _is _going to be a good day! Some guys I knew started waving at me. "Hey guys . . ." I said as I walked over to them. As I got closer, I could clearly see their faces. They were shouting. . . and they looked kinda worried.

"Urameshi . . . Dude . . . Turn around!" said one guy.

"Yeah man . . . He's gonna duke ya' . . .!" screamed the other while pointing behind me. I turned around and saw Kuwabara running at full speed toward me.

"Ha ha! Hey Kuwabara . . ." I said.

"URAMESHI . . .!" His hand flew toward my face. I ducked and put out my leg. He idiotically tripped over it and crashed into the pavement.

"What in the hell are you doing?!" I shouted, laughing at him as he slowly stood back up.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO KEIKO!?" he panted angrily.

"What . . .!?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!?" I shrugged at his question.

"I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about . . ."

" . . . YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HER . . .!" Now he stood in front of me . . . raising his fist.

"What's with you, dumb-ass!? What in the hell are you talking about . . .? I didn't do _anything _to Keiko . . ."

"Don't play stupid . . .Urameshi!" He started gritting his teeth. "I'll beat your ass so bad even kittens won't look at ya' . . .!" His hand came flying toward my face again. I moved out of its way.

"Kuwabara, you're so pathetic . . . slow too . . ."

"Shut up . . .! I'll get justice for Keiko, even if it kills me . . .!" I laughed at him.

"Do you even know what you're talking about . . .? You're such an _idiot_!"

"Keiko is such a good person . . . HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER . . .!?

"Do _what_ . . .!?"

"Don't play dumb . . . _You know what you did_ . . . !"

"Well, apparently I don't . . ." I told him with a shrug. Kuwabara brought back his hand, readying to punch me. . .again. Then . . . the bell rang. I looked down at my watch. Seeing Kuwabara looking up at he clock, I started walking away, attempting leave as quietly as possible so that he wouldn't notice.

"URAMESHI . . .!? WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOIN' . . .!?"

"I'm going to school . . ." I walked away from him. "'Cause there sure as hell ain't nothing to discuss here . . ."

"I'll get you . . . Urameshi . . .!"

"Okay . . ." I said, waving at him. And that was the end of that adventure.

I barely remember what happened after that. Not because I wasn't paying attention. . . well, I wasn't. . . but because all I could focus on was what I wanted to say to Keiko. . . and how I was going to say it. I guess you can say the whole entire morning just, kinda. . . flew by. . . all except for one class. Biology. Damn, stupid ass biology.

I went up to the second floor and got to my class. I walked into the door making my way to a chair in the back of class. I hate this class, I said to myself about ten times before plopping down for the long haul. I stared out of the window. At least after this, I get to have lunch. I mean SERIOUSLY. . . Who actually cares about school . . .? I asked myself, furious at the thought of sitting through such a boring class.

Keiko cares . . .

I smacked myself, tossing away my sudden thought of her. Some people turned around and looked at me like I was crazy. I shot a look at the dumb asses before they all turned back around. . . in fear, I'm sure. I stared at the black board, hearing people talking in the hallway. I watched a group of kids walk in and stop in the doorway. They're so stupid . . . blocking the door like that, I said to myself with minor irritation. I stood up and smiled. "Hey you guys . . !! Come and sit your asses down!" I shouted to them, laughing all the while. They looked at me oddly. "We're going to have a great class today . . .!" I added sarcastically.

"Urameshi . . . You're actually here _on time_ today . . . and before me too. . ." said one of the guys in the group.

"It happens . . ."I said as I shrugged. They all started laughing.

"Urameshi . . . He's always causing trouble . . ." said another guy whom I didn't know. I sat back down in my chair. Dumb asses. I stared at the door as a whole bunch of kids started pouring into the room. All I could hear was people talking about stupid stuff . . . their stupid problems. The teacher walked in and started the class. He just kept on talking and talking . . . Then two girls came in, looking for a place to sit.

"Ladies, class has already started. Please sit down . . ." the teacher said. I rolled my eyes as one of the girls sat next to me and the other sat in front of the other. They were talking about crap I didn't want to hear. The class began slowly at first. The teacher talked about something . . . I think he was talking about the body . . . I don't know. I was so damn bored. I stared at my desk and tried not to focus my attention on the conversation that was going on around me.

"I forgot to eat this morning . . ." whispered one girl.

"I'm so tired . . . I only got one hour of sleep last night . . ." said the other, sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry about that . . .Why . . . did you get only one hour of sleep?"

"My boyfriend . . . dumped me last night," she said, fighting back tears. The other girl, sitting in front of her, tried to comfort her.Me? I laughed. Quietly. Her face ripped up when some little tears forced their way down her face. It was funny as hell.

"I've been dumped before . . . I can feel your pain . . ." the other responded. I looked out the window, my interest suddenly gone. This is _so stupid_. Why did they have to sit here . . . near me? Maybe they'll shut up, I said to myself with a little hope. I looked at the board and tried to focus.

"He was so evil about it too. He was like 'I'm not happy anymore' and he just left me at the movie theater . . ." she continued, still crying. "And . . . and I still miss him . . ." Oh . . . _God_ . . . someone shoot me, I begged. Are they _still _talking!? I looked out the window and closed my eyes. Could someone kill me . . . Please!? I looked down at my watch, now reading 11:15. Oh my God . . . It's only been fifteen minutes!? The girls continued to cry and bitch and moan and talk. And I continued wishing for a gun to shoot myself with. Will these girls just shut the fuck up . . .!? I couldn't take it anymore. I shot up and out of my chair and slammed down on the on my desk.

"Yusuke . . . is something wrong . . .?" asked my teacher, his eyes widened in confusion and maybe even fear. The whole class just stared at me.

"Could I . . . move . . . to another chair . . . Please . . .!?" I looked at him, pleading in my voice. The teacher pointed to another chair in the front of the room. I picked up my crap and walked over to desk. Everyone continued to stare, their necks creaking as they they turned their heads to watch me. Some fat kid sitting behind my new seat gawked at me. "What in the hell are you looking at, _pudgy_!?"

"That will be enough Yusuke . . .!" shouted my teacher. I sat down and looked at the board. Thank God I got away from those girls, I said to myself with a much needed sigh of relief. I stared at the board, unable to pay attention to the lesson or the teacher. Those girls back there are so stupid . . . crying over boys who dumped them. They don't even realize the guy was no good. 'Oh I miss him SO much . . .' I mocked them in my bored little brain.

I thought about Keiko at that moment. Thank goodness that Keiko isn't like them. . . I guess I wouldn't feel like I do about her if she were stupid like those girls back there. I try so hard to be good to her. . .I really do. I try to look out for her. . . impress her. But, I admit. . . I sometimes disappoint her. . . I know I do. I looked down at my desk, disappointed at myself. I care for her so much . . . so much. . . that it hurts sometimes.

Keiko . . . I can remember us together so clearly. Especially the last time. I started laughing to myself, trying to fight my memory from coming. It seems like it was so long ago. But it's been a month and six days. . . exactly . . .

It was Christmas night and Keiko was coming over to spend time with me for the holiday. I don't really like holidays, but this one was a bit different. Just Keiko and me, I kept thinking to myself while I was making the preparations. Mom was out with some of her friends that night . . . so . . . it was going to be our first time _alone _in a while. I knew we were going to try to spend every moment of the night together. Not a single minute was going to be wasted, at least, that's how the plan went in my head. I wanted her to feel special. . . for the night to be good and simple. Hell, I even wanted to surprise her a little with my attempt at creativity.

Yeah. . . I was pretty damn excited and . . . maybe, for no reason, really, a little nervous too . . .

Everything had to be perfect. First thing: I had to look nice . . . if I wanted to impress her. I went to the mirror and fixed my hair according to how Keiko liked it. None of that greasy stuff tonight, I thought as I smirked at myself in the mirror. I simply brushed it and let it sit naturally. I had to look clean-cut . . . fresh. . . and may I dare say . . . sexy. I decided to wear my new dark green, long-sleeved shirt and some khaki pants that my mother had bought me for the holiday. I'm not actually sure why, but hey. . . I wanted to put it to good use. Though, I didn't feel as comfortable as just a t-shirt and jeans, I knew that Keiko would like my look. Second thing: I had to prepare my room. I wanted to relive our first date . . . but better this time. I laid out a blanket on the floor and placed a light brown, packed basket in the middle of it. I opened it up and looked inside, checking off the list in my head. Okay, I have . . . the sandwiches . . . canned-teas . . . the chips . . . Alright . . . I'm set!

I started to make some last minute changes when I heard a knock at the door. Aww well, I told myself. If I'm not ready yet, then I'll never be. I stepped out of my room and quietly closed the door behind me. I walked to the front door and happily opened it.

There she stood . . . Keiko.

She looked so beautiful in her tight-fitting, dark blue sweater and black skirt. Though she was wearing something she'd normally wear, she still looked more beautiful than the last time I'd seen her. Perhaps it was because I could really see her _curves _despite the dark colors she was wearing. . . but anyway, she was just beautiful! Ha . . but I think I've said that already. Anyway, her shining brown hair was flowing freely over her shoulders. Her eyes met with mine and sparkled. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she liked what she saw. _Yes! _I cheered to myself! This _is _gonna be a good night. . .

I motioned her through the door. She looked at me with such excitement in her eyes. I pulled her closer as she gave me a short kiss. I took her hand and started walking to my room. "Keiko . . .you're going to love this . . ." I told her, pulling her closer to me again. I put my hands on her waist and brought her so close to me that I could feel her chest pressing on mine, her heart quickening against me.

"What is it?" she asked me, her voice full of enthusiasm. I took her hand.

"Just wait . . ." I told her, now pulling her behind me. We approached the room and we stopped at the door. Alright! I told myself. Everything is perfect! Just don't screw anything up. Coming to some agreement in my head, I turned around and looked at Keiko. "Are you ready . . .?" She smiled and nodded.

I slowly opened the door and let her step inside. She looked around from the doorway, her mouth curving up into a smile. I smiled back and asked her, " . . . Does this look familiar?"

"Oh my goodness . . ." She put her hands over her mouth in shock. . . "It's just like our first date." She suddenly reached up and kissed me on the cheek. Though surprised, I recovered quickly. "This is so sweet."

"Well, it was nothing," I told her, my face still tingling from her quick kiss. "Sit down right here." I motioned for her to sit down. She did so and I sat down across from her. "It turned out a lot better than I thought it would."

"I love it!" she cheered. Her happiness made it all worth it for me and I couldn't help but be happy too. She stood up and walked over to where I was. At first, I was confused, but I quickly caught on when she sat down next to me. She wrapped her slender arms around my shoulders and slyly asked me, "What's for dinner?" I smiled at her simple question.

"Well . . . "We have some good ol' turkey sandwiches and some really good potato chips."

"And to drink . . .?" she tacked on to her question in the same sly voice from before.

"Just some nice, canned iced tea. Your favorite!" She sat back down as I pulled out a can of the tea. I smiled at her as she picked up a sandwich and started to eat. I looked at her as she chew the bit that was in her mouth She's so beautiful, I thought to myself. "You're so amazing," I told her, staring at her eat. She returned my gaze and smiled that irresistible smile.

"Yusuke, you're the amazing one . . ." she said. "You and I run the Ramen Shop . . . you're trying to rent your own apartment . . ." I smiled as she went on. Her compliments were making me feel really drawn to her. " . . . you go to spirit world and you always get the job done there . . ." I watched her mouth continue to move as she spoke. I got the sudden urge to kiss her. And since I didn't have the patience or the power to stop myself, I leaned closer to her. " . . . and yet you never cease to ama--" Perhaps a bit rude, I interrupted her, my lips pressing onto hers. She dropped her sandwich and let her slender arms wrap around me. I closed my eyes for a moment and I squeezed her, bringing her closer and closer.

When I opened my eyes again, I gently allowed my tongue to go into her mouth. I felt her body tense up and relax as I did this. I knew she didn't want me to stop, so I kept on going. I allowed myself, for the moment, to thank her for all the kind things she had said before. If only I actually felt worthy for your nice words, I told her in my mind. I moved my tongue slowly as her tongue moved with mine, my body aching a little. She closed her eyes and I did the same again just moments after. Her hands grasped onto my shirt. I enjoyed the way she felt in my arms . . . so light. I had an urge to take her down to the floor. . . and we began to lean back as if to do so. . .but I stopped myself, not wanting to push things too far.

Though I didn't want to, I ended our kiss and pulled away from her. I watched her as she slowly opened her eyes, shimmering as the light hit them once again. She looked at me, catching her breath. " . . .Yu . . . suke . . ." she said softly. I found my solace in her whisper and spoke.

"Keiko . . . I hope you like your gift . . ." I looked at her, memorizing every feature on her face. I remembered that we had a dinner to eat and I released her, not _really_ wanting to. She let go of me and picked up her sandwich.

"This is one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever gotten," she told me. She smiled warmly. I'm glad she likes it, I sighed to myself, relieved but still thinking about our kiss that had just ended. But then again, knowing Keiko, she wouldn't tell me she hated it in my face, would she? Maybe she thinks it's stupid. I waved away my thought as I picked up a sandwich and began to eat. She wouldn't lie. I should believe her, I said to myself. " . . . But, you know . . ." I looked up at her from my sandwich. Uh oh . . . What's the catch? " . . . compared to our first date, this one's better." I thought about what she said and laughed to myself. Phew. . . that's good, I thought, 'Better' was exactly what I was going for . . .

"How so?" I asked, wanting to hear what she thought of our first date. I continued eating as she explained how I had brought a basket full of rocks instead of food when we had our first date. The event, in and of itself, was embarrassing, but I couldn't help but laugh at her going through memory lane. Yeah, it did suck ass, I said to myself, laughing. Her eyes continued to tease me as I started to explain why and what actually happened that day. I told her about how I didn't really have any food to bring in the first place. In fact, all I had packed for our date was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and crackers. I know. Sad . . . but true.

But then these five guys from Kasanegafuchi junior high attacked me on my way to our meeting place at the park. I put the basket down and started kicking their asses up and down the street. Just the mere thought of that beating got me going!

After I schooled them, I picked up my basket and started, once again, on my way to the park. Unbeknownst to me as I ran from those ass-wipes, someone had taken my basket, emptied the food, and replaced it with a little surprise that I didn't even notice until later. Since I got to the park before Keiko did, I set up everything, still not noticing that my basket's weight was different. Stupidly, I waited there until I saw Keiko coming. When she finally got there, we were so ready to eat. . .

She listened intently and quietly, smiling as she continued the story. She said to me, "When I got there, there you were sitting next to your basket."

"Well, when I opened the basket . . ."

" . . . it was full of rocks . . ." she finished. "So, you were set up . . . Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd believe me." I told her. It was the truth. I guess, at the time, blaming the basket on my own stupidity seemed to be the best explanation. "Plus it wasn't all that important. We still had fun . . . right?" I asked, slowly leaning toward her.

"I still loved it . . ." she said, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. She knew exactly what I wanted, and almost on cue, she swallowed whatever it was that she was chewing on. Our lips finally touched. . . and then eagerly pressed. I carefully stroked her face and I brought her closer as her familiar arms wrapped around me again. I wanted to hold her forever . . . Everything about our embrace was just so comfortable. I could feel her sinking into me. . . and I started to do the same.

Just as I was about to let my tongue into her mouth . . . the stupid phone rang. Dammit, I thought. Her mouth broke away from me and I couldn't help but sigh. Fuck! Dammit! Ugh! I wanted to scream. . . but I set all that aside. I got up and walked to my mother's room, leaving Keiko alone for just a moment. Who in the hell is calling? I made my way to the phone. C'mon! Let 's get this over with! I angrily picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Yusuke . . .?" said a recognizable voice. "I hope you're okay . . ."

"Oh, Mom . . ." I said, realizing who it was and calming down. "Hey. How's it goin'?"

"I'm having a great time, Yusuke . . . Is Keiko there right now . . .?"

"Yeah . . ." I said as I turned to look at the door. I was expecting Keiko to follow behind me after a few moments. . . but she never did.

"Okay . . . Well . . .then I won't keep you, Yusuke. I just wanted to check on you two . . ."

"I'm fine . . ." I told her, thinking of Keiko sitting in the next room. Okay . . . now get off the phone . . . I can't leave her waiting too much longer. You've called . . . I'm fine . . . You're fine . . . Now hang up the damn phone!

"I'll leave you two alone then . . ." she told me, probably reading my mind. "And don't stay up too late '_watching movies'. _. ." I could just see her in my head, laughing at her so-called joke.

"We won't, Mom."

"I love you . . ." she added sweetly, trying to be motherly, I guess. . .

"Love you, too." Then I heard the dial tone. I hung up the phone and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. I walked back to my room, expecting Keiko to still be there. But. . . she wasn't.

Where'd she go?

I realized the basket was gone and assumed she had went to the kitchen. Hoping that I was right, I went ahead and walked out of my room. Silently, I crept up and into the kitchen. And there she was, putting the basket in the cabinet over the oven. Always taking care of what I need to, I said to myself, smiling at her as she stood there. I walked up behind her, thinking to catch her off-guard by grabbing her. But instead, I slowly moved my hands around her small waist, controlling the urge inside me. I felt her tense up when I touched her. She turned around and looked up at me. I couldn't help but smile when her beautiful eyes met mine.

"Who was on the phone?" she asked me, her hands on my chest.

"It was just my Mom," was my reply. I didn't feel much like talking.

"Everything's okay . . . I hope."

"Everything is fine . . ." I smirked at her. I wanted to kiss her so badly. Maybe we can make up for the last one, I thought mischieviously. I leaned in closer to her mouth. "Now what were we up to . . .?"

"We were . . ." I kissed her lightly as she trailed off.

"You didn't have to answer me," I whispered, eager for the touch of her lips. I came and let my mouth go to work, sucking on the sweetness of her. She closed her eyes as I moved my tongue into her mouth. Her hands stroked my back as I squeezed her. Her tongue was so sweet. . . so warm. I was trying hard to not become too excited . . . but I could not deny myself. . . or how I felt. As I felt my body heat rising . . . hers slowly began to rise as well, sensing my desire. I pressed down on her as her hands ran along my head, through my hair. She pulled away suddenly, trying to catch her breath. . . and perhaps trying to calm down. "Is something wrong?" I asked her.

"I'm fine," she answered, looking up at me. I could feel her heart beating quickly against me. Her hands slowly began rubbing on my chest. I looked at her and saw in her eyes that she was just as hot as I was. Damn, that was. . . incredible, I said to myself as we stood there in silence. But it's a good thing we stopped. I think we've made up for what my mother's call interrupted before. As I thought on, Keiko spoke. "Could we go back to your room . . .?"

"If you want to," I told her. I stood there trying to think of something we could do. . . when it suddenly hit me. My mother did mention 'movie' before on the phone. It was lame, taking my mother's word and turning it into an idea. But hey, it was something. So I suggested it to Keiko. She didn't say no, so I assumed that my suggestion was fine. I let her go and walked out of the kitchen to the personal library in the living room. I looked for a good movie; I gave her the options of 'Pirates of the Caribbean' or something maybe more scary. She told me that she didn't really care. So I took her hand and 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and excitedly we went back to my room.

She sat down on the bed as I went to the VCR and put the movie in. As the movie started, I sat down next to her, ready for the action-packed movie that I had already watched more than enough times. Though I was really happy to be watching it, I noticed Keiko sitting there next to me. She seemed almost awkward. . . but I couldn't seem to understand why. It was like she wanted to say or do something. . . but couldn't. I dismissed it as she laid her head on my shoulder. Maybe I'm just imagining things, I told myself. And even as the movie played, she stayed pushed up against me, hanging on. . . but I didn't really think about it longer than a moment. We just sat in silence as the movie kicked into high gear. I assumed, that we were just happy to be near each other.

She seemed to be enjoying the movie. . .

I don't know how long it had been . . . but, of course, the movie was getting really good. Keiko, who's head was still on my shoulder, just sat there, not moving or anything. I thought, at first, that she had fallen asleep. How can she sleep during such a good-ass movie? I asked, peering over to see. But she was still awake. Oh, good! I said, looking at the screen again.

Well, as dumb as I am, I was completely absorbed in the movie. So Keiko, probably knowing this, caught me completely off-guard.

She began running her soft lips across my skin, bringing me out of my trance. She started kissing my neck . . . then _licking _it slowly. My body hardened with her sensual gesture, unable to ignore her tongue like the kisses that had come before it. What is she doing? I felt her tongue move along my skin, causing me to feel sensations deep down on the inside. . . sensations that I had pushed away all night during our earlier kisses. As each second passed, I could feel myself getting more and more excited. I wanted to stop her but then . . . I didn't. . . I couldn't. Even though she had never done this to me before . . . it felt so . . . natural. . . so damn good. I looked down at her and started talking to try and change the 'topic'.

"Have you seen this movie?" I stupidly asked her.

"I haven't," was her quiet reply.

"It's actually pretty good," I said, feeling her tongue continuing on, her mouth coming and going as she played on my skin. I tried to focus on the movie. . . and calm down.

"Is that so . . .?" she asked, coming away from my neck.

"Yeah . . ." I tried to think of something else to talk about. As I thought, she grabbed my face. Her lips . . . then her mouth . . . hungrily pressed onto mine.

I was shocked . . .!

It's wasn't like Keiko to jump on me . . . to make the _first _move. We wrapped our arms around each other and fell over. She laid on top of me, moving her tongue at a wild speed. Damn, Keiko . . . Slow down! I shouted to her in my head, not _really _meaning it. I could feel her pushing down on me with her body. . . and her warm mouth. The intensity was unbelievable. I tried to slow her down by moving my tongue at a more relaxed pace, my heart speeding up as I tried to get her to calm down. Her tongue finally slowed as she pulled away from me.

"I want you . . . right now!" she said, breathing heavily.

"What!?" I said, in the same breathless way. My body was happy to hear that she wanted me . . . because I had wanted her for such a long time. Ever since I'd come back from Demon World, I seemed to feel even more attracted to Keiko. In fact, for a while, I'd been thinking about me and Keiko. . .going _further_. . . but I'd never said anything or acted on the urge.

_I want you. . . right now! _Her words kept echoing inside me, telling me to go ahead.

Maybe we should do it, came a thought. But I stopped the thought and told her that I didn't think we were ready. . .well, at least, not yet. I tried to push her off of me, but she held on. Where is all this strength coming from? I asked myself, confused. . . but intrigued. She started kissing my neck . . . slowly and . . . sensually, her desire packed into each moment her lips touched my skin.

I was enjoying it. . . really I was. . .

But then. . . she bit me! Shocked, I yelled out as her teeth sank into my skin. It hurt . . . but at the same time, it felt so good . . .! She started sucking hard on that place. I closed my eyes, feeling a whole bunch of different things all at the same time. What is she doing . . .? I wanted to get her off . . . but . . . then . . . I didn't want that. The damned mixed emotions inside pulled at me as she continued.

Should I push her off or . . . should I go with it . . .? I asked myself, her words still lingering in my head. She stopped sucking on my neck and started kissing me again. I kissed her back while I turned her over, trying to get back in the driver's seat of the situation though without much success. With all of myself, I pushed down on her because I thought that it would calm her down. It was dumb of me to think this.

I looked down at her as I pulled away. "We shouldn't," I told her.

She looked up at me. I could see that she didn't like what I had to say. She kissed me again and started lifting off my shirt. Again . . . she flipped me over. She threw my shirt somewhere and sat on top of me, her brown eyes flashing. She bent down and kissed my chest, little by little making her way up to my mouth. She kissed me with all of herself pressing into me. Her hands caressed my chest . . . so slowly. And the more she did this, the harder I became. My body couldn't resist. It couldn't be stopped. I could feel myself just getting harder and harder. My arms squeezed her as our hot breaths and tongues moved together. She pulled away, leaving me wanting more. She sat up and pulled her shirt over her head.

This was a surprising event; it was the first time I had ever seen Keiko's bra before. She looked . . . really good. I wanted to snatch off her bra and look at her breasts . . . to touch them. . . and do so much more to them. I smiled at the thought. But, even so, I tried to come back to my senses.

We can't do this. . . not yet, my thoughts told me. I mean, seriously! This isn't the right time or place. With this thought, I, reluctantly, decided to try to stop us before we _really _couldn't stop at all. As she bent over to kiss me again, I grabbed her waist and quickly put her on her back. I looked at her in the eyes and said, "Keiko, listen! We shouldn't do this . . ." She ran her warm hands all the way down to the small of my back. She looked up at me and sexily smiled. My body hardened as her eyes flashed with such a desire along with that mischievous grin.

"Just because we shouldn't . . ." she breathed, her eyes seeing right through me. " . . . doesn't mean we can't." She licked her lips and smiled once more. Oh God . . . please don't say things like that . . . and not with _that _smile. She clutched my shoulders and looked into my eyes. I thought about what to do. What any guy would give to be in this kind of situation . . . I really _want _to do this! But are we ready? Can we do this? I thought about these things in spurts as the seconds ticked by. Question after question came until Keiko pulled me down and kissed me passionately, but briefly, interrupting my thoughts. "Yusuke, I know . . . you want this . . . just as much as I do!" she said, such hunger in her voice, forcing me to reconsider. Maybe we _can _do this, was the thought going through my head at that point. I mean, who's gonna stop us? I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

How many times have I dreamt of something like this . . .? I asked myself, really trying to count the times I'd had sexy dreams about Keiko. My deepest . . . dirtiest fantasy is . . . to _have _you, Keiko, I said to myself. I really, really want you. . . perhaps _more _than you could ever want me. . . I looked at her now, _wanting_. . . but then the doubts came.

But it's not like you to act like this, Keiko.

We can't jump into this. . . can we?

What if . . . this is a mistake? What if --?

My thoughts faded as I felt a pinch-- no-- it was more like a squeeze. My body tensed up in shock as something got a tighter grip on my-- well, _you know_. . . I looked down and saw Keiko. . . reaching into my pants. I could feel her small, delicate hands holding me in place. When did she do that? I dumbly asked myself, angry that I had gotten so lost in thought that I didn't notice her undo my pants. I felt such a strange ache where she was holding me. Keiko looked at me as I froze in my position over her. I wanted to scream, yet . . . her grip . . . was quite pleasing. This _is_ what she wants! I said to myself, cheering. She's giving me the 'go ahead.'

Besides, I said to myself, staring at Keiko's flustered face, ready and waiting. . . for me. How can I deny her this. . . when I _want _it too?

Finally, I relaxed and let go. I came to her and kissed her eager lips. I pressed into her with all of myself, her warm mouth taking all I could give her. Her body became hotter and hotter by the second . . . as did mine.

I started pulling down her skirt as she worked at taking off my pants. Damn clothes, I thought to myself, but my anxiety fell away. She kissed my chest as her skirt came off. Shortly after, my pants were gone and she pushed down my briefs, her hands feeling all that was hidden inside them. I started kissing her neck . . . then her shoulders . . . working slowly, but surely, to the best part . . . her breasts, though they were still covered up by that damn bra of hers. She moaned quietly every time my mouth neared her skin, making the aching inside me worse. She started to open her bra . . . but I couldn't wait for her any longer. I tore it from her and grabbed the sheets, ignoring everything and preparing to go the further than I'd ever thought possible. I was honestly too excited to care at that point that we were completely naked, but I guess she felt the same way. She smiled at my hastened actions, just as hungry as I was. I covered us and started to relish in the moments to come.

Countdown was upon us and I was about to start . . .! She wanted me . . . I wanted her. I could read the excitement that was all over her face; I could feel her body raging from underneath me. My heart was pounding . . .! I neared her with myself, about to enter her. . . when she said, "I love you, Yusuke," her voice full of eagerness and . . . such a wonderful hunger. Her heartfelt and passionate words caught me off-guard though. I looked down at her. My body tightened as I just sat there, so close to going _into _her. I love you too, I said to myself. Oh God, how _much _I love you. I should go ahead and say that or all hell will break loose. . .

'I love you' . . . that's all I have to say. . . _I know that's what she wants to hear_. . .

That thought scared me, shocked me even. . . but I didn't know why. "Yusuke?" I heard Keiko say. "What's wrong, Yusuke?" I tried to shake off my sudden fear. Anyway, if I just say it, _we can do this_, I said to myself over and over.

So . . . _why _. . . why am I hesitating? I love her. I really do! "Don't you love me . . .?" she asked as if she heard my inner turmoil, her eyes burning. _Yes . . . I do._

I love you, I told her in my mind. But . . . this isn't right. My mind sped up and slowed down over and over. What should I do? Any guy would give _anything_ to have it like this. _I want her so bad _. . . but . . . I . . . I can't do this.

I just . . . can't. . .

My body began to burn even more at the thought of stopping. But I _want _her . . . and . . . she _wants _me. . . I kept telling myself this. But it didn't work. I looked down at her as she stared frantically up at me. This . . . isn't . . . right . . .

"I . . . can't," I told her, regretting every word.

"But don't you love me?" she asked; her voice was shaking. Yes I do . . . but . . . "What? Why won't you answer me . . .!?" she screamed, interrupting my thoughts. Her eyes were full of rage now. My whole body was aching too. The thought of not going on was unimaginable. But despite that, I uncovered myself and left her lying there in the bed, trying as hard as possible not to look or turn around and tackle her naked body.

We need some time apart, I said to myself, deciding against everything that I'd felt that night. If we just take some time and think about what we want to do, then this will all blow over. But as I walked, my body filled with such guilt. I couldn't even imagine what was going through Keiko's mind, let alone her heart. I grabbed everything on the floor that belonged to her after putting on my underwear. Utter humiliation, insanity, and lust flowed throughout my entire body.

"You need to go home, Keiko," I told her, holding myself back. I wanted to pounce on her and get it over with. But . . . no matter how hard I tried to shake the feeling, I couldn't convince myself. My body ached terribly from guilt and wanting. I can't tell her that I love her just to _get some, _I told myself. I was so angry that I'd almost allowed myself to take advantage of Keiko.

That's not how you treat someone you. . . _love_. . .

She got out of the bed, sheets still wrapped around her. She slowly walked toward me, looking into my eyes, her hair ruffled from our romping. She snatched her clothes from me and stopped to stare, her eyes stabbing mine like sharpened daggers. Suddenly . . . she drew back her hand and then she slapped the shit out of me.

"I look like a fool . . ." she screamed, her words piercing me. "I thought you loved me . . ." I turned to face her. "So you were just going to get what you wanted and then lay me out to dry!" Her beautiful eyes stared at me . . . hating me. I wanted to see those sparkling eyes from before, but they were long-gone by then. "You don't even love me . . ." Then . . . She slapped me again, even harder. . . which didn't seem possible. My cheeks stung like hell. I should've saw that coming, I said to myself.

Stomping off, Keiko went into the bathroom to dress herself. I went to my closet and put on a simple pair of shorts and a t-shirt, struggling to control my aching body. Oh my God! We were so close . . . to . . . My heart started racing again as I thought back. She wanted me . . . and I wanted her . . . _But I punked out at the last possible second!_ I left my room and slowly walked to the door. I'm so damn stupid . . .

I stopped at the door, waiting for her to leave. I need to get her out of this house . . . We can't just jump into things like this. My lower _self_ ached with pain. . . and I suppose that if it could yell and punch, it'd would've. I still want her so much though, my mind said. But . . . I can't hurt Keiko . . . not like this. . .

_I need to get her away from me! I gotta do it. . . for her. . .!_

Keiko came to me at the door, mad as hell, and I could just sense it. She slipped on her shoes and looked up at me. Her eyes . . . her beautiful eyes showed me . . . that she _hated _me. . . every single cell of me. Quickly, her eyes looked over me, probably noticing that the effects to our time together hadn't worn off quite yet. She silently stepped out of the door after I opened it for her. She turned around and looked at me, rage glowing in her eyes. Then her hand came flying into me once again. DAMN! I tried to recover as quickly as I could, but my cheek stung so much. Dammit . . . I said to myself, knowing that I deserved it. I turned to look at her as I felt small tears form in my eyes. Not because she had slapped me . . . but just the fact that I had disappointed _my _Keiko. Her eyes stung me one last time and then she turned away from me without a word. I watched her as she went down the elevator and away from the apartment building. My whole body was burning. But it's better this way, I thought. We'll just spend some time apart . . . We need to think things through anyways, I told myself, not exactly believing my words. Once out of my sight, I closed the door and ran to the bathroom. Sadly, because I couldn't calm down on my own, I had to jump into the shower, drowning myself in cold water until my mother came home . . .

That night was . . . the worst night of my life . . .

That's how it all happened . . . I concluded to myself, staring at the black board. It seems like such a long time ago too. But, I guess, a month is long enough to clear your mind, I reassured myself. It will be kind of strange talking to her again though. . . after all the silence that we've put up with.

I did all this for her . . . but . . . will she understand . . .?

"Yusuke . . .?" I heard a voice in the distance. Hey, shut the hell up, will ya? I'm thinking. "Yusuke . . .?" it came again. Whoever's talking, needs to shut th fuck up. I completely ignored whoever was talking until it came again. Hey. . . third time's the charm, right? "Yusuke?"

"What in the _hell_ do you want . . .!?" I asked, irritated and ready to knock out teeth. It was too late. It was. . .the teacher. _Damn_, I thought to myself. He looked down at me with an insulted look in his eye.

"I'd like to speak with you after class . . ." he reported. I turned my head and rolled my eyes.

"Sure, Pops . . . Whatever you say . . ."


	3. Lunch Time

**Chapter 3- Lunch Time**

The class slowly continued on at snail's pace . . .

My mind turned itself inside out and upside down as the minutes slowly counted down. Please someone shoot me . . .

"RIIIIIIiiiiiiinnnnnNNNGGGGGG!"

The class _finally_ ended. Everyone pulled out their lunches and started eating their gourmet cuisines. The teacher looked at me and motioned for me to come to his desk. Dammit . . . This isn't even important, I thought as I walked to his desk.

"Yusuke . . .? I can't have you disrupting class like that."

"Like what . . .?" I asked, acting stupid.

"Don't play dumb, Yusuke. You know exactly what I'm talking about." I scoffed and turned my head.

"Whatever . . ."

"Look at me when I'm addressing you." I, reluctantly, turned and looked at the dumb-ass. He narrowed his glistened over eyes and said, "You might enjoy the attention now . . . But hear this . . . That kind of behavior won't get you anywhere in the future."

" . . . Says who and what army . . .?" I asked while raising an eye-brow.

"Yusuke . . . Even if you don't see it yet, you've got potential . . . You--"

"Just haven't found it yet . . ." I snickered.

"That's not what I was going to say . . . Yusuke."

"If your class actually had something to say, more kids would stay awake for it . . ." I said to him. . . and I'm pretty sure that I insulted him. His eyes widened and then narrowed again.

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that."

"It's a world full of dumb asses. . ." I said, whispering loudly, the teacher's eyebrows shooting up.

"Watch your language . . . and stop trying to change the subject. I'm only trying to help you."

"Who in the he--" I said, catching myself before I cussed again. "Who said I needed help?"

"You're almost done with high school and there's a . . ."

" . . . big world out there . . . How many times am I going to have to hear this fuckin' speech?" The gasps of surprised students rang behind me. I heard all of the kids shuffle at their desks as they turned around to look at me. Dammit . . .! I realized my stupid-ass mistake. . . but it was too late . . . Shit!

"I'll . . . give you a detention after school today," he announced to me, but loud enough for the whole class to hear. He looked up at me, disappointed. I rolled my eyes at him. "You should be thanking me . . . 'Disrespecting the instructor or fellow students' is a big offense. Especially after what you called that young man today." What . . .? I turned and and looked at the fat kid that had been sitting behind me before. Oh. . . Is he talking about 'pudgy'? I turned back around and then looked up at the ceiling as I thought for a moment. Dammit, I thought. But I have to go see Keiko . . .

"Could I do it tomorrow . . .?" I asked as I took my eyes off the ceiling to look at his ugly mug. The teacher looked as if he were thinking about my offer, his fingers rubbing on his chin as he considered it. Please say yes . . . Please say yes.

"No . . ." was his dumb-ass answer.

"But--" I started before he interrupted me with "D'you want to go for a week . . .?" Discouraged, I looked at the ground.

"No sir . . ."

"Good. I'll see you at the end of the day . . ." I turned away from his desk and walked back to my own. Dumb-ass teachers. What do they know? Detention is pointless, I told myself, nodding. Now with a suspension . . . At least you get time off from school. Well . . . detention will last for an hour . . . so that's not _too_ long. I'll still have plenty of time to see Keiko afterwards. I sat at my desk, staring at random things, and taking some comfort in the thought of talking to Keiko face-to-face soon.

I felt my stomach rumble as I stared blankly around the room. Damn . . . I'm hungry. I opened my book bag, hoping to find something to eat. Dammit! I didn't pack anything. I was running all over the house all morning thinking I had everything done. Why am I so stupid!!? Dammit . . . Dammit . . . Dammit!

I looked in my book bag again to see if I could find some loose change. I shuffled around for about five minutes. Finally I found a meaningless bit of yen. Great . . . this should get me _something, _I said to myself sarcastically. I got up and walked toward the door, trying to keep the hope alive that my damn near pocket-lint could buy me something to eat.

"Yusuke . . . Where are you going . . .?" I heard the teacher ask.

"I'm going to get something to eat . . ."

"Be back in five minutes . . ." I raised an eyebrow at him and nodded. Bitch ass . . . I thought as I turned from him and walked out of the door. I closed the door behind me and walked down the hallway. I continued to walk until I reached the hectic lunch line. I should be able to get some food in no time, I told myself. It was just my luck when I realized I was standing behind some chatting girls.

"I woke up this morning and my bed had like this huge blood stain on it." said one girl in a loud whisper. "I've got the worst cramps today too . . ."

"I know . . ." said the other. Don't these girls see me standing behind them? Boys aren't supposed to hear about this shit . . . My God . . . This stuff is so disgusting.

"There's pain shooting through my sides . . . and I've barely had any sleep in three days."

"My cramps get so bad that they make me puke. I get so totally nauseated and stuff." Dear God . . .What is it with girls today? 'Oh . . . My boyfriend dumped me' and 'I'm bleeding all over the damn place.'

Stupid girls . . .

"I don't wanna hear this . . ." I said, covering my ears. The two girls turned around and looked at me. "Maybe you two should . . . talk somewhere more private instead of at a fucking cafeteria!" I advised. They glanced at me briefly, insulted and angry for a moment, before turning around and continuing their conversation. This can't be _all_ girls talk about, I said to myself. _Guys_ and . . ._blood _and. . . _cramps_. I walked away from my place in line and stood near a table. I'll wait for the line to get smaller, I told myself. I looked at my watch. Hmm. . . I've got _one _more minute to get back. I looked around and then shrugged. Aw hell . . . I'll wait anyway. That guy can kiss my ass for all I care. . .!

I watched the line dwindle away. Once the 'bloody girls' were gone I went up to the counter. As I walked up there, I looked up at the menu. Hmm . . . What should I get? I saw a plump lunch lady walking around, cleaning up. "Excuse me . . .?" She stopped and looked at me. "Could I get some rice and juice?" I asked in hope that they would be cheaper than dirt. . .

"Sorry son. We're sold out for today . . . You should have gotten here sooner." WHAT!? I looked down, realizing how empty all the trays were. DAMMIT! "I can . . . give you an apple . . . But that's all." I thought about it.

"It's better than nothing . . . I guess." She came around the counter and handed me an apple. I nodded to her as she smiled at me with her chunky, yet friendly face. As she turned to walk away, I stopped her. "Ma'am?" She turned around and looked at me. "Thank you." I picked up her hand and placed all of my money there.

"Oh . . . you can keep your money . . ."

"Don't worry about it . . ." I smiled. She looked down at her hand, probably looking at how little I actually gave her. Before she could say anything, Iturned away from her. As I walked toward the exit, I heard a table of dumb kids laughing.

"Looks like Yusuke and the Lunch Lady got somethin' going on . . .!" shouted one guy.

"Who would of thought . . .?" said another, more quietly but still audible to my ears. Who in the hell are these people? I wondered. Everyone is acting like they know me. The whole cafeteria stared at me as I turned and glanced at the thick-headed kids.

"Look here, ass wipes . . ." I walked toward the table where they all sat. I took one of them up by up his collar and pulled him closer. "If you say shit like that ever again, I'll make sure you're drinking that milk . . ." I said, pointing to the carton on the table. " . . . through your shitty ass! _Got that . . .!?_" The kid nodded, afraid of what I was going to do next. I sat him back down and smiled. "Now . . . Have a fucked up lunch, kiddies . . ." All of the guys sitting there nodded and slumped down in their chairs, embarassed or perhaps pissing themselves. . . I'm not really sure which. Anyway, I walked out of the cafeteria as I looked down at my watch. Great . . . Now I'm gonna have to hear from that stupid teacher. I ran back to the class room as fast as I could. When I got to the door, I stopped. I calmly opened the door and stared at the students inside.

"Is there a reason why you're late . . .?" asked my teacher.

"They ran out of food. I had to wait while they gave me this little apple." I walked back to my desk and took a chomp out of it, feeling the teacher's eyes on me all the while. I can't believe I got a detention today . . . of all days! Maybe I'll skip next week. I snickered at the thought while I glanced at the teacher. He diverted his eyes and continued working. I took another bite of my apple. As I chewed, I thought about how Keiko was eating an apple the day we'd kissed. She doesn't eat like a pig . . . _I guess._ She's pretty clean when she eats. I took another bite of my apple, my thoughts reflecting the frigid month that had passed for Keiko and me.

Man . . . I _miss _her. . .

I shook away my thoughts and stared at the clock.

Next class starts in about twenty minutes, I told myself. What should I do? Maybe I'll start something, I thought mischieviously. But . . . I don't think I can afford a double detention, not today at least. It really doesn't help that I don't know many people in this class anyway. I stood up and started walking around the room, students cautiously watching me as I did so. I stopped at a circle of four girls who stared at me as soon as I arrived.

"Can we help you . . .?" asked one girl.

"Yeah . . . You look kinda lost." said another. All the girls started laughing.

"I needed to move around . . . Being stuck in a room full of crazy asses ain't that easy." They all started giggling.

"You're always causing everyone trouble, Yusuke. . . y'know, picking fights and arguing with teachers. You're always craving for some kind of attention . . ." the third girl said, the girl's laughter dying away .

"It's what I do best . . ."

"But you have to admit . . . He's pretty funny . . . And he doesn't treat girls bad at all . . . Just guys," said the last girl. All of the girls nodded at her remark. I smiled, just a little flattered.

"Well . . . thank you for your time, ladies . . ." I told them, ready to move on. I nodded to them and continued to go about my route around the room. Hmm . . . Who should I bother next . . .? I saw Okubo, one of Kuwabara's friend's, sitting in the corner of the room. He seemed to be absorbed in the book he was reading. There's someone I know, I thought to myself. Well. . . kinda. . . I walked over to him and tapped on his desk, saying "Hey Okubo." He looked at me, shocked by my greeting.

"Yusuke . . . How are you?" he asked as I sat down in front of him.

"Not much on this side of the fence . . . And you?"

"Nothing. Your outburst during class today was pretty crazy." He looked down at his book and closed it. "What brings you my way . . .?"

"There's not much to do here," I answered. "I got a detention from our dumb-ass teacher today."

"Bummer . . ." said Okubo. Then there was an awkward silence. Okubo is not much of a talker, I reminded myself. _What can we talk about for the next hour?_ I wondered while exaggerating in my brain. I started thinking about what Kuwabara had done to me that morning. Maybe Okubo knows what that was all about, I said to myself.

"Hey Okubo . . .?"

"Yeah . . .?"

"Do you know what was up with Kuwabara this morning . . .?"

"What do you mean?" Okubo asked, looking kind of worried.

"He tried to attack--wait-- maybe I should say 'stumble' at me this morning . . . Something about me doing something to Keiko . . ."

"I didn't see or hear anything about that," he told as he shrugged. I was disappointed by his answer. "Sorry I can't help you with that one, man . . . I could try to ask him for you . . ."

"Nah, that's alright, Okubo. Maybe I'll ask him in English class." I got out of the chair and looked down at him. "Well, I'm gonna pack up . . . It's almost time to go," I said to him though I knew we still had about ten minutes left. Okubo started to open his book again. "See you around, Okubo . . ."

"Later, man . . ." I walked back to my desk and picked up my book bag. I put all of my crap away and sat on my desk.

For a long moment, or so it seemed, I sat there. Quiet. Simply listening to the people chatter nearby, each second dragging and standing still.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I looked up at the clock. Oh God! I thought. _One more minute!? _I diverted my attention back to the black board, avoiding another outburst due to my impatience.

"I hate this place . . ." I whispered to myself. It's just a waste of time coming here everyday. I don't see how Keiko could like school so much. Who needs good grades . . . or pointless tests any-damn-way!!? I slowed down my thoughts as I thought of how Keiko always tries to get everything right. In fact, just thinking of her trying to do everything so perfectly annoyed me. . . but . . . at the same time . . . I kind of . . . missed it.

Her small obsessions over grades. . . Her constant and steady work ethic. . . Hell, even her happiness when she her work pays off. . .

Keiko's in my next class too. I sighed, mad that I'd let my thoughts wonder to her for the millionth time that day. I smiled to myself. I really shouldn't let her sneak into my thoughts like that.

I looked at my teacher and some students in the front of the room as they gathered at the door. Dammit . . . when is the bell going to ring . . .!? I looked back up at the clock. Come on . . . _Please ring_! Oh, it rang alright! And with it's sound, I jumped up in preparation to haul ass to the door. But the urge to run out died and somehow, I found myself waiting for everyone to move out of the way. I was the last person to leave.

"Don't forget to be here at the end of the day." My mind was filled with different thoughts. I really wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.

"Alright . . . _Pops_." I kept my back to him and waved. I walked out . . . on my way to English class . . . to see Keiko . . .


	4. Getting Through the Day

**Chapter 4- Getting Through the Day**

I walked down the hallway, searching for the last class of the day . . . English. I saw my destination and tried to get there as fast as I could, my feet constantly moving . . . but I was capable of much faster. "Dammit," I said under my breath. " . . . I'm running out of time." I could just feel each second running away from me . . . each moment a possible step from being a moment too late. I tried to maneuver around the slow people, but it just wasn't working. Unfortunately (Well . . . not really. . .) I had to _push _some people because they just weren't keeping up with traffic. It was their own damn fault . . . Ha ha ha. Anyway, when I got to the door, I made sure I was the only one coming in. I knew Keiko would be sitting in the front of the classroom. I took a breath . . . and walked in.

Keiko was sitting in the seat nearest to the door . . . like she _always _does. I looked her way just seconds after I walked in. Her eyes locked with mine instantly. She looks so beautiful today, I said to myself. Hell, she's 18 today, I thought almost as if correcting myself. Maybe it's because she's older . . . or maybe it's because for this past month, our eyes have barely met like this. I couldn't help but smile at her . . . I didn't know what else to do really. She seemed surprised by my smile. I ended our stare and I made my way to the furthest corner of the room. Window seats were the best in the room. I sat down and made myself comfortable. I stared at the back of Keiko's head, thinking about the moment that had just taken place between us . . .

I wish . . . she'd turn around and look at me, I thought.

As I watched on, I watched the teacher and Kuwabara enter the room one after the other. Of course, Kuwabara had to sit his ass next to me. As he quickly made his way toward me, he stumbled over an empty desk. The class laughed for about five minutes as Kuwabara recovered. Stupid-ass. . . I couldn't help but laugh too. I was cracking up! " You dumb-ass . . ." I said quietly, still laughing. Kuwabara looked at me as he sat down.

"I hate you . . .Urameshi . . ." said Kuwabara as his eyes slowly narrowed at me.

"Whatever . . ." I waved off his comment. The teacher stood up in front of all the students as he motioned for us to pay attention.

"Alright . . . Let's begin today's class. I'm glad to see all of you." said the teacher. "Today we are going to be finishing the book we started last week by reading it aloud ." I rolled my eyes. This is so dumb. Dammit . . . I can read at home. "Get out your books and turn to page 77 . . ." The whole class bent over from their desks to get their books . . . except me. I just sat there, waiting for the reading to start.

"Urameshi, what in the hell are you doing . . .?" asked Kuwabara.

"Who needs a book if we're just going to listen . . .?" I explained.

"Hmm . . . Good point . . ." Kuwabara laid down his book. Everyone, except me and the dumb-ass next to me, had their books open and ready to go. Then the teacher began to read.

"_Chapter 9 _. .." he read. "_She was stranded, alone in the wilderness _. . ._ No answers were answered; confusion was all that remained _. . ." Oh my God . . . Are we _seriously _going to have to sit through this until the end of the day . . .? I asked in my head, cringing at the mere thought. I leaned back in my chair, my hands behind my head. Of course, he continued on . . . "_She could not find him . . . He had vanished into the sands of_--"

"Urameshi . . .?" Kuwabara whispered, interrupting the story for me.

"What do you want, dumb-ass . . .?"

"Nothing . . ."

"Don't call me if you have nothing to say . . ."

"Sorry . . ." he answered. I directed my attention to the window. The sun was so bright that it almost blinded me, so instead, I laid my head on the desk and closed my eyes as I listened.

"'_Where can I find him . . .?' she asked her inner self. She needed the guidance of her heart at that very moment . . . 'Will I be too late . . .?' she asked herself, unable to think clearly. 'My love, where can I find you . . .?'_" I looked over at Kuwabara.

"You can find me hiding in your _ass,_ my love . . ." I said with a chuckle, loud enough for some kids close to me to hear. The students in front of me and Kuwabara began to laugh. We all tried so hard to keep quiet and muffle our laughter . . . but within moments, we were holding our aching sides. Our laughing circle finally finished gigging and we settled down. All the while, the teacher continued to read on. This is worthless, I thought. I looked at Kuwabara and decided I would ask him a question, one that I'd been thinking about since I'd talked to Okubo. "Kuwabara?" I whispered.

"What?" he whispered back.

"Why did you attack me this morning . . .?" He hesitated in answering me. His face contorted into this irritated grimace.

"You already _know _why . . ." was his reply.

"No . . . _dumb-ass_ . . . I don't know . . ." I said back to him. "That's why I'm asking _you_ . . . I can't read your damn mind . . .!"

"You know what you did to Keiko . . ."

"You _ass_ . . . What in the fuck did I do to her!?" I said, struggling to keep my volume down. "Believe me . . . If _I _did something to her, I'd be the first to know . . .!"

"You took advantage of her," he retorted. "She's such a nice person, a good girl, and she probably let you because she loves you . . .!" Kuwabara was getting louder too.

"_Whoa _. . ." I said. "We haven't even gone that far yet . . ."

"Yeah . . . sure, Urameshi."

"I didn't do _anything _to her . . . In fact, we haven't spoken in a month . . ."

"By any chance . . . could it be because of what you _did _to her . . .?"

"_I didn't do anything to her _. . .!" I said, the volume control now broken. It's more like what I _didn't _do, I said to myself.

"You are such an evil bastard, Urameshi. I'm disgusted to look at you." Kuwabara looked down at the ground, shaking his head.

"I may be a bastard . . . but I didn't do anything to her . . ." I said, still getting louder. A guy sitting in front of me turned around.

"Could you guys keep it down back there . . .? We're trying to hear the instructor . . . "

"No. Now turn your ass around and shut the hell up." I told him, my eyes narrowed from the irritation that Kuwabara was putting me through. He turned back around in his chair and bothered us no more.

"How am I supposed to believe you when I heard the truth myself?" questioned Kuwabara.

"Is it some stupid rumor . . .?" I asked, getting ready to punch him.

"Nope . . ."

"Then who in the hell told you about this . . .?" I asked, boiling with anger.

"No one had to tell me . . . It was implied by Keiko herself at the coffee shop."

"Implied? What!?" How could she . . .? Could Keiko be trying to make me look bad because of what happened on Christmas? I asked myself. I sank down in my chair.

"You heard me, Urameshi. She was so upset when she was talking to Kurama this morning. She was embarrassed to say your name. You are so _wicked_."

"What in the hell did she say . . .!?" Kuwabara looked confused by my question. He hesitated.

"Well she said . . . um . . . she--"

"Did you even hear her whole story!?" I interrupted him, sensing a hole in his story.

" . . . I left before she finished."

"YOU DUMB-ASS!" I said, almost shouting. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN HEAR EVERYTHING SHE HAD TO SAY! You're the biggest _**ass**_I've ever known!"

"She didn't have to _say _anything . . ." Kuwabara said with confidence. "I could tell by the look on her face."

"Keiko wouldn't be stupid enough to let me do that to her. I'd like to think that you'd know that, Kuwabara!" Kuwabara looked uneasily from side to side.

"Keep it down, will you . . .? She's sitting right over there . . ."

"I don't give a shit. **I didn't do anything to K--**!"

"_You had your way with her . . ." _Kuwabara interrupted, making his statement now.

"No, I didn't . . ."

"**Yes** . . . you did . . ."

"_**No**_ . . . I fuckin' didn't!" We glared at each other.

**"YUSUKE . . . KAZUMA !!!" **Kuwabara and I looked at the teacher. "If you continue to talk, I'll have to ask you two to leave!" The class started laughing at us. Kuwabara and I looked at each other and stopped talking. My fists were burning, but I decided against going postal on Kuwabara's face. I can't afford to get in any more trouble today, I said to myself, finding some inner calm. I slumped down in my chair. My eyes went back over to Keiko, expecting to see the back of her head again. But I caught her as she turned back around in her seat. The teacher started reading again. _Oh my God_ . . . When does the bell ring? I looked up at the ceiling then at Kuwabara. He was looking at me, still glaring.

"You can't fool me, Urameshi . . . I know what you did to Keiko . . ."

"Shut the fuck up, ass-face . . ." was all I said. Kuwabara's eyes narrowed again. I put my head down on the desk and closed my eyes. I listened as the teacher finished the chapter.

" . . ._The man began to slowly close his eyes _. . . _For what approached _. . ._ was his eternal slumber _. . ." said the English teacher. That's cheery . . . I thought to myself. Is there a reason why we have to listen to this depressing-ass story . . .? "_She touched his face as he smiled at her one last time._ '_I'll love you forever_ . . .' _he said to her. Tears streamed down her face at the touching words. __Her love_ . . . _was gone _. . ." That's how it ends? I looked up from my desk. I saw a whole bunch of girls crying and wiping away tears. He's dead, huh . . .? Well, we all have to go someday, I reasoned in my head, seeing that I've died twice already. The teacher closed his book and laid it on his desk. "Well . . . that was a rather sad ending . . ." said the teacher. "I hope you guys enjoyed that book. We'll be having a test over the whole thing next week." The teacher looked up at the clock. "Well . . . since we're running out of time . . . I'll ask you guys some questions before the bell rings." He started pointing at people and asking them random questions. I laid my head back down on my desk as he proceeded in questioning people. He asked a girl named Misaki in the corner in the room about what point of view the story was in. She stood up to answer his question.

"The point of view is . . . third person omniscient."

"That means what . . . Misaki . . .?"

"Uh . . . T-That means the narrator is a person looking in on the action, but can still hear and see. . ." she stumbled for the words for a moment. " . . . the thoughts and feelings of the characters involved in the story."

"Good job . . . You may sit down." She sat down, relieved. "And . . . Kazuma . . .What kind of story is this. . . ?" Kuwabara stood up and looked at the teacher.

"Umm . . . It's a story that . . . uh . . . It's a story that makes you . . . uh . . . think . . . The story, I guess you can say, made me think about stuff . . . Important stuff." The class laughed at his strange remark.

"Interesting . . . Sit down," said the teacher. Kuwabara did so and started packing up his things.

"Hey Kuwabara . . ." I said. He looked over at me. "Of course, you'd have a better answer if you actually paid attention." I chuckled.

"Shut up, Urameshi. . . as if you could talk," retorted Kuwabara. I shrugged at his remark.

"Lastly . . . " the teacher continued. "What kind of mood did majority of this book have . . .?" The teacher looked around the room for his last victim. " . . . Keiko . . .?" Keiko just sat there. Keiko? I repeated the question in my head, expecting her voice to sound at any moment. When it didn't, it caught my attention. I sat up and looked at the back of her head. **"KEIKO?"** the teacher repeated, louder and more irritated now. She quickly diverted her attention to the one who was yelling at her. "What's with you kids and daydreaming? I asked you a question."

"Oh, I'm sorry." she apologized. "What was the question?" I saw the teacher's face turn into a frown. Keiko? I said to myself. Daydreaming? I was shocked to see that Keiko wasn't paying attention. Maybe she's coming over to the dark side, I thought.

"I asked about what the mood of this story was . . ." Keiko stood up and looked at the steamed teacher standing in front of her.

"The feeling that this story created inside of me was sorrow . . . pain . . . maybe even loneliness. . ." she said, looking at the teacher. She seemed to glance at the ground before continuing. "This book is . . . full of death and confusion. I don't think . . . anyone can help but feel a little sad . . . after hearing this story . . ."

Good answer, I said to myself.

The teacher nodded at her answer, still frowning, and said, "If it weren't your birthday, I'd deduct points. But . . . since this is your first offense, I'll let you off the hook." Keiko sat back down. He should back off, I thought, angry that he got on Keiko's back like that. What an ass . . .

"Did you see that Urameshi . . .?" said Kuwabara.

"See what?"

"She's so upset . . . she can't even t pay attention in class."

"I hate to ask . . ." I said. . .and I really did. ". . . but upset about what?"

"About you having your way with her . . ."

"_Will you drop it_? I don't know how you could be so stupid to think that I'd ever do anything like that to Keiko . . .!" Kuwabara stared at me. I looked down at my desk for a moment. " . . . I . . . could never . . . hurt her . . ." Kuwabara's face lightened up a little. Then . . . the bell rang. Kuwabara jumped out of his chair and walked to the door. I followed close behind him. As we snaked our way out of the room, I looked at Keiko, who remained in her seat. She looked like she was in deep thought, so I didn't say anything to her. I just went out of the door. As hard as that was to do. . . I kept in mind that I was going to see her later.

I walked to my locker and put my unnecessary crap away. It was mostly stupid homework assignments . . . but, like I said, unnecessary crap. Finally . . . I can go home, I said to myself. I started smiling as I walked toward the main exit of the school. A minute later, I was running. Freedom . . . at last! Then I slowed down.

I have to . . . go to detention first. _Dammit!_ I looked down at the ground as I turned around and started back toward my biology classroom. I can't believe this . . . I almost forgot about it! I continued to walk, not really paying attention to where I was going. I looked down at the ground and stopped. Why today of all days!? I yelled at myself. Keiko. . . she-- My thoughts were interrupted when . . . a girl slammed into me. I didn't realize I was standing in the middle of the hallway, so it was kinda my fault too. I caught myself before falling over. She stumbled a little. So I grabbed her shoulders, trying to keep her from falling backward.

"Oh, I'm sorry," came a sweet voice, ringing in my ears. That voice . . . I said to myself. "I wasn't watching where I was going," she continued. I looked down at the brown-haired girl . . .

It was . . . Keiko.

It's been such a long time since I've touched you, I said to myself, squeezing her arms slightly. Even at the Ramen Shop, we don't even get half this close. . . do we? She looked at her shoulders where my hands were and then her eyes met mine. Her head tilted back as she stared at me, her mouth open with surprise . . . almost as if a kiss were expected. We stared at each other for a moment.

"It's okay. I wasn't . . . either," was all I could say. She looked at me with her beautiful eyes. God, I wanted to kiss her. But I realized that it wouldn't be a good thing to do . . . not yet. We continued to stare for what seemed like forever. Looking at her face made my mind clear . . . my heart was at ease for just that moment as I held onto her. I'm sure she feels uncomfortable, I said to myself. As if reading my mind, she removed herself from my grasp and stopped looking at me.

"Thank you . . . for catching me," she said with a slight nod. She looked at me again briefly . . . and then . . . walked away. I watched her as she disappeared in the crowded hallway. I . . . better get to detention, I told myself. I looked down the hallway one last time.

We'll be able to talk soon, Keiko . . . I promise . .


	5. Just My Luck

**Chapter 5- Just My Luck . . .**

I started running to my biology classroom. I can't be late . . . Not now . . .! I screamed in my head. I was already late because of my bumping into Keiko and my sprint to the front door. When I got to a spot just short of the the classroom, I stopped at the door and caught my breath. I walked, pretending like everything was okay, into the classroom and sat down at my usual desk.

"Yusuke . . . It's just like you to be late . . ." said my biology teacher. He looked down at his watch, shaking his head. "You're almost eight minutes late . . ."

"Oh. Well . . . At least I got here . . . Better to show up late than not at all . . ." I replied as I made myself comfortable in my seat.

"I suppose . . . you have a point," he said oddly, his eyes fixated on me. Will he stop staring at me? I uncomfortably said to myself. Dumb-ass. I put my head down on my desk, staring at posters on the wall. Why did I have to get a detention today of all days!? This is going to take forever. I looked at my watch. It read 3:18. Okay. . .so I'll be out of here about an hour from now . . . I reminded myself. If the damn time would just fly, I wouldn't have this problem. I watched the door as other kids walked in. Two guys and a girl walked in and sat away from each other. "You kids need to get here on time!" said the teacher. He glared at all of us. I didn't really care. "Alright . . . Looks like everyone's here . . ." I looked up at the talking ass in the front of the classroom. "All of you need to find something to read or do . . . Homework . . . whatever. If you're not working in five minutes, you will suffer the consequences." I looked up at the ceiling. "No talking . . . No eating . . . No sleeping . . .!" he concluded.

"We know the drill . . ." I said. The guy looked over at me, his eyes sharp. I blinked a few times while he stared at me again.

"Come again?" he asked. I shrugged in response. He went back to his desk and sat his fat ass down; he seemed irritated. I gotta find something to do . . . I told myself. What can I do . . .? I opened up my book bag and looked for something to do. I put all that work stuff in my locker earlier, I said to myself. And all I have is the book we finished in English class. Dammit! Damn it all!! I went to my last resort. I stood up and walked to the dumb-ass's desk.

"Dum-- sir?" I asked, correcting myself before I could regret it.

"What is it, Yusuke?" He looked up at me from his desk.

"I have nothing to do . . . I don't have any work or reading materials . . ." He looked down at his desk as he thought of what to say.

"Well, you can't go to the library so . . . you can help me then . . ." He waved an envelope at me. Dammit! I shouldn't of asked, I told myself. I should've just-- "I have a whole bunch of newsletters to send to the students next week," he said, burying my thought with his new. "You can help me put them in envelopes, write the addresses, and put stamps on each one." Shit . . .

"That's kinda lame . . . Since when do you have to do all this to send in a dam--," I corrected myself again. " . . . to send in a newsletter?"

"The computers are down today . . . So I have to do it myself."

"Oh . . . and how many . . . newsletters are there . . .?" I wearily asked.

"Over two hundred . . . But it shouldn't take too long," was his answer. Dammit! Why did I bother asking?

"It's better than nothing . . . I suppose." I said reluctantly. I grabbed a chair and sat near the dumb-ass's desk. He handed me a stack of envelopes and a pen.

"Here are the newsletters." He plopped them down in front of me and smiled. Oh my God . . . His teeth look like corn kernels. They didn't look that bad from far away! I tried not to show it in my face, but I was utterly disgusted. I felt like I was going to puke. Please don't ever do that again, I pleaded in my head. It's called 'tooth-paste' . . . you should try it sometime. "Better get cracking," he said to me. Oh . . . I'll get crackin' alright! I shouted in my mind. I sighed as I started putting different names on each envelope, trying my hardest to use neat hand-writing. There was silence throughout the whole entire room and the work was so boring. I can't wait for this to be over, I said to myself.

Name after name went on each envelope. One newsletter after the other went into each envelope. I tried to think of more pleasant thoughts. And, of course, the most pleasant thoughts I had . . . had Keiko in them. I sate there working, remembering Keiko and the last time we were alone. She was all over me . . . and we were about to--

I felt a hot surge go throughout my back. Okay, _focus_, Yusuke . . . I regrouped and continued on in working. This hast gotta be the the worst detention I've ever been to, I said to myself. I'm never going to get a detention ever AGAIN! I looked up at the clock. It read 3:42. A little over a half and hour to go . . . I told myself, still diligently working. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the dumb-ass teacher looking at me.

"You're doing a good job," he said.

"Whatever . . ." I said. I could tell he was trying to make some conversation.

"Yusuke . . . Where do you see yourself in five years . . .?"

"That's awful random . . . Why do _you _care . . .?" I asked, getting annoyed . . . but still working.

"You're a smart kid . . . And if you're planning on graduating this year . . . You're going to have to do something with your life after school is over . . ." I listened as I continued to work. "What do you want to do with your life . . .?" Well, I'm planning on scratching my ass a lot, I laughed to myself. Yeah, that seems like a good answer.

"I'll ask again . . . Why do you care!?"

" . . . I ask because if you don't know by now . . . then you have a problem."

"I want to continue running the Ramen shop . . ." I replied as I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice. "I don't know if I'll be married by then though. I could be . . ." I answered. Will you shut up now!?

"Don't you want to go to college . . . to get a career of some sort?"

"No . . ." I said, stamping an envelope. ". . . making Ramen is enough for me."

"Well . . . at least you're decided about one thing . . ." said the dumb-ass teacher. I kept on working. _Why is he still talking to me?_ "Do you have a special someone in your life?"

"Is that any of your damn business?" I asked. I looked up at him for a moment before looking down at my hands again. Why does he give a shit? "I can't stand people who ask personal questions," I told him.

"If you're planning on getting married, then you may have a person in mind." I looked up again from the envelope that laid in front of me.

"Why does it matter . . .? Why won't you stick to your stupid job? You're not being paid to find out squat about me . . ."

"A simple _yes _or _no _will do . . ." he told me. I looked down at the envelope again. If I answer him maybe he'll shut up, I said to myself with hope.

"If you must know . . . Yes . . . I do." I started working again.

"What do you want for this person . . .? I'm sure you want this person to be happy . . ." WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DUMB-ASS!? Why can't he take a hint?

"That's none of your business either. . ." _Why in the hell is he still talking_? _Hell, why am I answering!!?_

"Everyone's got someone in their life that they really care about . . . Whether it's a sister or brother . . . friend . . . or a significant other. . . maybe a partner . . ." What in the hell is this . . .? I asked myself. You make it sound like I'm gay . . . I said to myself.

"I'm sure your special someone is a non-existent wife . . ." I said underneath my breath.

"What did you say . . .?"

"Nothin' . . ." I licked a stamp and placed it on an envelope. "I just want . . . the best for _her_ . . ."

"Now we're getting somewhere . . .!" I looked at him, about to pop. "Who is she . . .?" Who the hell does he think he is? A know-it-all shrink? I couldn't take it anymore.

"That's none of you damn business. Why in the hell do you care anyway. . .?" I said, going off on him. "You said 'No talking' and here you are treating detention like it's 'Happy Hour' . . ." I looked up at the clock, seeing that time was near and that our little conversation had both wasted and drawn to a close. "As far as I'm concerned, my business is _my business._ I understand that you're just trying to find something to talk about . . . but do that with someone who likes 'small talk'." I glared at him for a moment. "When I need help, I'll get it myself . . ." I stood up and looked at the clock. It's 4:15, I told myself, celebrating. "I'm leaving . . . _now _. . ." I went to my desk and picked up my book bag. I need to get out of this room. I made my way to the door.

"It was nice talking with you . . ." said the dumb-ass.

"Whatever . . ." I walked out and ran down the hallway. Now I can go home . . . I went to the exit of the school, rejoicing over and over. When I finally stepped outside, I breathed in the fresh air. "Thank God . . .!" I shouted. I walked toward my home. I wasn't really paying attention to the people I saw or anything for that matter. All I was worried about was getting home and seeing Keiko as soon as I could. I broke out into a sprint. I'm going home . . .!

I ran for God knows how many blocks. Just get home . . . Just get home . . .! I kept saying to myself. I ran past the plaza . . . the coffee shop . . . the market. When I reached my apartment building, I clutched onto my knees to catch my breath for a quick moment. I looked at my watch, now reading 4:23. I'm making good time. I walked up the stairs and stopped at my door. I searched my book bag for my keys. Here they are . . .! I picked them up and put them in the in the key hole. Home at last . . .! I opened the door and walked into my lovely home. As I closed the door behind me, I kicked off my shoes. I walked over to my couch and sat down.

After relaxing for a minute or two, I stood up and walked to my room. Inside my room, I felt like I was truly at home. I took off my jacket and walked over to my bed. The air hit my arms, making me feel so much cooler. I can't believe it's been two weeks since I've started living here, I said to myself, glancing around the room. Just looking at it, a person could tell that it was guy's room. No charm. No fluff. Just a bed and the essentials. I looked up at the ceiling as Keiko floated into my head again . . . how she had no hand in my moving away from home. I had always imagined that when I moved out of my mother's place that Keiko would be there to help. But since we hadn't really talked in so long, that didn't happen. A thought came to me then. Keiko doesn't even know, does she? I shook off the thought, figuring that the holiday would soon change that fact.

I can't wait to see her, I said to myself. How will she react when she sees me . . .? Standing in front of the diner . . . waiting for her? Will she listen to what I have to say? I wondered. Will she care? The questions flew at me, one after the other, building up my anticipation. I got up and walked to my radio. I turned it on and started listening to music. I laid down in bed and just listened. I closed my eyes, enjoying a good break for the first time all day.

Then . . . I heard a knock on the wall. "What in the hell was that!?" I sat up and waited. Maybe it'll come again. I was right. . . it did. What in the hell is going on? I went over to my radio and turned it down, barely audible.

Oh yeah . . . I remembered the reason, and forgetting was hard to do. There was this _old woman_ that lived next door, who hated music . . . or banging sounds. . . or talking sounds. She'd been on my ass ever since I moved in. Bitch . . . There was another knock on the wall. "Hey, I turned it down, ma'am!" I shouted, trying to be polite. I sat down on my bed. As long as she doesn't bring her ugly ass to my door. . . again, I told myself. She actually called the land lord two days ago because I was supposedly playing my music too loud. She better not do that shit again, I said to myself while cracking my knuckles. Don't forget! You're surrounded by dumb-asses and crazy bitches, I reminded myself.

I walked out of my room and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe I should do something about my hair. I went over to my bathtub and turned on the water. I grabbed the shampoo. I needed to wash all the grease out in order for it look the way I wanted . . .

The way Keiko liked it . . .

Moments later, I was done. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel and dried it off. I stood in front of the mirror again and removed the towel. That looks good . . . I told myself, shaking off some beads of water. Keiko likes it when I have my hair . . . just like this, I told myself, grinning. I continued to look at myself, thinking about what I'd wear to Keiko's house. All I could see was myself looking back at me in the mirror, thinking just as hard as I was. As I exchanged glances with myself, I noticed something . . . a light mark on my neck. Oh. . . It's still there . . . I said to myself as I touched it. Feeling it flooded my mind with that night's memory. I didn't know you had it in you, I said to myself with a smirk. I remembered her as she sucked on my neck. My body heated up just remembering how much I _wanted _her . . . how much I still did. . . and how much she _wanted _me that night. I closed my eyes, seeing her at that very moment. Mmmm. Keiko. . .

There came a knock at the door. Damn thing interrupted my thoughts. I made my way to the door. Who could it be . . .? "Hold on . . ." I said. "Hello?" I asked as I opened the door and found the old woman that lived next door.

"You're playing your music too loud. How many times do I need to knock to get you to turn it down!?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Ma'am, I can barely hear my music now. I've already turned it down!"

"I'm going to call the land lord again . . . He'll fix you!"

"Whatever, ma'am. My music is barely playing . . ." She turned as if to walk away. Then she turned back around and flicked me off. What the hell?

"I hate kids like you . . . So disrespectful to your elders." What in the hell is she talking about? I asked myself, confused and annoyed. I'm trying to be nice to this bitch, and this is what I get? I couldn't do anything . . . I mean . . . she _was _an elder . . . and a human at that. I could crush her if I wanted to, I told myself with a chuckle. I can't just punch or yell at an elderly woman though. So I simply closed my door. As the door clicked shut, the crazy bitch started banging on my door.

"Ma'am . . .? If I just turn off the music, will you be happy . . .?" The banging continued. "Ma'am?" What is wrong with this woman? "Leave me alone, ma'am . . .!" I walked away from the door and dashed off to my room. I turned off the radio and sat down again on my bed. The banging continued on though with no end in sight. _Bitch_ . . . go away . . .!

Suddenly . . . the knocking stopped. "Ah . . . Thank God . . ." I whispered in hope that I didn't say it too loudly. I looked at my watch. I guess I should start getting ready for my visit then. I got up and walked to the bathroom again. Alright now, I said to myself. Let's get this st--

Suddenly . . . there came another knock on the door; once again, my thought was cut short. This one was quiet and soft. But I felt suspicious anyway. I bet it's that _crazy bitch _again . . . trying to trick me. What in the hell is going on? Is there some sort of conspiracy today? Does the whole world know it's Keiko's birthday and that I really want to get this stuff taken care of?? Huh? I stomped toward the door, pissed. I'll give her a piece of my mind, you old hag! "Look lady . . . Stop bitchin' and complainin'! How many times am I going to have to deal with you!?" I flung open the door. "I'm not even playing any . . ." I stopped talking as I gazed at my unexpected visitor.

Keiko.

I looked at her in her tight white dress and button-up sweater. I was speechless for a moment. Why'd you have to wear that . . .? I asked her in my head, still lost for words. Her hair flowed over her shoulders, blowing slightly in the wind. I wanted to reach out of the door and touch her face. Her eyes met with mine finally . . . She looked so beautiful. "Keiko . . ."

"Hi," she said, smiling. She turned her eyes from me. I just stared at her. What is up with my luck today . . .? Everything is strange. All of my plans are getting fucked up. First . . . it's getting the detention . . . then forgetting my lunch . . . Kuwabara in English class . . . the detention itself. . . The fucked up neighbor . . . and now this!? _Why is she here_? This really fucks things up now, I told myself. I wanted to see her while her parents were around. I wanted to tell her how I felt at _her _house . . . not _mine_. I'm not sure if we should be alone . . . _especially now_. . .

How did she find me . . .?

Is she angry . . .?

Is she happy to . . . see me . . .?

Mom must of told her where I live, came a thought in my head. Thanks Mom for screwing up my plans. My eyes focused on Keiko again after my mind calmed a little. But I can't . . . blame her though . . . for coming. Silence remained and I stood there looking stupid, trying to think of somethng to do. Well . . . since she's here . . . I guess we can talk then. No sense in her coming this far and me turning her down at the door. She must have something to say . . . to me. She looked at me, waiting for me to say something, her eyes glowing . . .

"Come . . . in . . ." I struggled to say without grabbing her and pulling her close to me. Her beautiful eyes looked into my soul.

Finally . . . we can talk. . .

She walked in, brushing against me. . . intentionally, I think. When she was inside, I closed the door. . . my heart racing, but ready to face what was to come.

It's time . . .


	6. We Need to Talk?

**Chapter 17- We Need to Talk . . .? **

Keiko turned around to face me. I looked at her as my heart pounded in my chest. "Why did you . . . come here?" I asked her as I walked after her, struggling to find words but settling on the ones flying out of my mouth. She looked at me with such warmth in her beautiful brown eyes.

"I just wanted to see you . . ." she replied sweetly as she moved closer and closer. She took one of her hands and started moving it toward my chest. "I . . . wanted to be near you . . ."she said so quietly, teasing my ears with the sound of her pining voice. She came closer still until she was pressing against me. Her delicate hand moved along my chest now, moving along my muscles underneath my shirt. Feeling myself getting lost in her touch, I placed my hands around her, grabbing onto a reality that seemed so impossible for the last month. A simple embrace wouldn't hurt, I told myself. I slowly moved them down her back, finding relief in the closeness between us. The woman I had been waiting to hold again after so long . . . was _finally _in my arms.

I didn't want to let her go . . . not now . . . not ever.

I looked down at her as she continued to look up at me, her eyes gleaming, staring into my soul. Now . . . to complete this moment, I smirked to myself. Unable to myself back, I let the sudden take over me. Hungry for her lips, I began leaning toward her . . . for the kiss. I watched Keiko as she prepared to kiss for me, almost swooning in my arms. But . . . her hands let me go. An awkward moment passed and my heart stopped, discouraged. Realizing what an idiot I was for even trying, I immediately released her as she started walking away from me. "So . . . this is your place, huh?"

" . . . Yeah." I told her, shaking off my urges. "I started moving in two weeks ago." As I talked on, she was, all the while, walking over to the window. Ignoring me maybe. . . but I went on. "I'm just about done unpacking. I was ready to get out of Mom's house, you know . . . we were annoying the hell out of each other." By the time the silence came, she was standing in the window, her back facing me. Despite our loss of words, all the questions started filling my mind as I walked toward her.

Why did you have to come here . . .?

Do you know how badly I've wanted to be with you in this last month . . .?

How I've longed to talk to you . . . to hold you again?

The urge I felt earlier came right back as quickly as it had left. I just wanted to turn her around and lay it on her. . . but I, somehow, held back. Instead, I put my hand on her shoulder, my tongue restless in my mouth. Feeling my touch, she turned around and looked into my eyes. Thoughts filled my mind. We're here . . . together and . . . alone. Her eyes were so beautiful, gazing up at me . . . through me. Brushing off my stare, she moved and went around me, walking toward the living room. She stopped as she entered it in quiet observance. I watched her from the window as she walked toward the couch.

"Do you have a telephone?" she asked, turning around. She playfully looked at me as her mouth curved up in that irresistible smile. My insides twitched at the sight of it. I stupidly blurted out, "Umm . . . yes. It's in my room," while stupidly pointing towards the hallway. She sat down on the couch. I stared at her as she sank into her seat. Keiko looked at her watch and then started playing with a small silver necklace that laid on her chest. Maybe this is a good time to talk, I told myself. Her eyes moved slowly from the pendant to me, as if she's heard the thought. Yeah, I reassured myself. This is the perfect time! I went to her, Keiko staring all the while until I sat down next to her, her hip rubbing against mine.

"I missed you," Keiko told me in a soft voice after a short silence. We both stared on. I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her again . . . to kiss her. And my body grew more and more restless with each thought and memory that passed.

"I missed you too . . ." I told her. Her eyes were shining so beautifully as they continued to stare at me. Finally, Keiko . . . I can tell you . . . what I've wanted to tell you . . . for so long. I celebrated at the thought of my soon-to-be-known confession. " . . . I . . . think we should talk . . ." I started out, ready to go into get talkin'. She looked at me with such curiosity. No more hesitating, I told myself. As I opened my mouth to speak, I heard her say, "Not now . . ." She slowly leaned toward me and kissed my neck, my body tensing up at it's sweet touch. Her lips felt good against my skin after so long. Keiko placed her delicate hand on my chest and slowly moved it . . . up. . . and then down. " . . . No words can say . . . how much . . . I've wanted you . . . for the past month," she whispered to with such a sultry sound that a chill went through me.

_Want_ . . . me . . .? My body heated up at the sound of the two words together. After all this time . . . she still wants to be here . . . with me. We gazed at each other, my body aching suddenly for her. I looked down as I gently picked up her hand. I brought my lips close to her skin and kissed it, trying to control myself. "Yusuke . . ." she called out so quietly . . . moaning every syllable of it. Every muscle in me tightened as her voice filled my ears. I've wanted you too . . . I want you still, I told her in my head. The look in her eyes beckoned to me, begging me to come closer. Please don't stop me this time, my mind pleaded with her as those eyes continued to pierce me . . . yet invite me all the while.

I leaned toward her. And this time . . . she _didn't_ try to stop me. The reality of her lips against mine was only inches away. Her eyes burned with anticipation. When my lips met with hers, I felt a familiar feeling come over my entire body. After so long, our mouths were together again. I moved my tongue into her mouth, longing to show her how much I missed her in the last month. As I moved my tongue inside, I could feel her body heat up against mine, her tongue sensually moving along my teeth. I let my arms squeeze her as her arms came around me. Slowly, she pulled away and let me go, leaving me wanting more. No . . . not yet. What happened? I looked at her, confused by her sudden change. Am I moving too fast? She looked down for a moment as she took off her sweater. It must be getting too hot in here, I told myself, now staring at Keiko's revealed shoulders and frilly straps. Our eyes lingered as she made the effortless gesture of taking down the two straps, her eyes full of delicious mischief.

She leaned back and laid on the couch . . . and like a hungry dog, I went after her. Laying on top of her, I could feel her hot body underneath mine, her leg bumping my thigh as I began kissing her neck . . . sucking on it. Her skin was so soft against my lips . . . against my tongue. She moaned and giggled as I did this, her quiet little noises only telling me that she liked what I was doing to her. . . and that she wanted more of it. I could even feel her heart quickening against my chest, her hands moving along my back. I moved over and started kissing her shoulder. I felt her move underneath me as she threw back her head. I looked up at her as I moved to her beautiful face. Coming down to her lips, I let my mouth suck on hers. Her grip tightened on my back, her fingers tangling with my shirt. I let my tongue move inside of her delicious mouth, tasting her and enjoying her. I wanted to hold her forever . . . to stay on top of her . . . like this. I hungered . . . for her body . . . Everything inside of me _wanted_ her.

But . . . we still needed to talk.

I felt her hands suddenly slip underneath my shirt. Her warm, soft hands moved along my chest, up and down. I didn't want her to stop touching me . . . but I was getting way _too_ hot. We gotta talk first! I shouted to myself, wrestling with the thought of stopping. But I obeyed the thought and pulled away from her. I got off of her and sat up and she came up just seconds later. We can't do this . . . Not yet . . .! We . . . still need to talk. Before my thoughts could come together into words, she climbed unto my lap. Though I wanted to calm down, I allowed her to do it . . . I didn't really want to stop her. My body was burning, and she knew it. She kissed my neck tenderly. Every kiss that came . . . was more tender than the last . . . and I felt every . . . single . . . one of them. I couldn't keep quiet about it anymore. I moaned, unable to deny the feelings surging through me. I tried so hard . . . to hold in what I felt . . . but . . . it was useless. I need to control myself . . . I thought. We still . . . need to talk . . .

Keiko pulled my shirt up and over my head. I should stop her, I said to myself. But . . . I put my arms into the air and allowed it. I just couldn't stop her. My mind was coming and going, which is hardly an excuse, but am I kidding? I _wanted _her to do it as much as she did. I could feel my body tightening and relaxing in the same instant. She placed her hands on my chest and brought her lips towards the skin there, kissing away at me and pulling me apart. Damn . . . Why is she doing this to me? I asked myself, not really caring. I closed my eyes as I felt her along my chest, trying to hold in my pleasure. Waves of excitement flowed throughout my body, filling me up yet ripping me apart. Everything about her kisses . . . her touch . . . how gentle she was . . . only made the madness inside me worse.

" . . . Keiko . . ." I moaned, shifting against her thighs and dress. My body hardened as she continued.

But suddenly . . . she stopped.

I opened my eyes to see what she was doing. She was reaching behind herself. Huh? What is she doing . . .? I asked myself, dazed and dumb, as always. I heard a faint sound as her arms shifted downward and realized that she was unzipping the back of her dress. My mind was racing . . . My heart pounding . . . My body still burning. I kept trying to tell myself to snap out of it.

C'mon! Focus, dumb-ass . . .! We can't do this _yet_! I reluctantly told myself all these things, my mind screaming for me to stop and my aching body pleading a strong case as to why we should proceed.

My mind won . . . How? I don't know.

I reached out and grabbed the hand that was behind her. "Keiko, stop." She looked at me, her eyes widened in a moment of shock. "We need to talk about . . ." Her lips came and pressed against mine, interrupting my train of thought. It was just a second. And when she pulled away, all the words were gone. We looked at each other for a long moment. It was dead silent as our eyes locked. I wanted her so badly . . . to undress her . . . to relieve all my desires once and for all and take her. She let go of the zipper and brought her hand around to me. She placed her delicate hands on my face as she leaned toward me. I honestly thought she was going to kiss me. But . . . she went to the side of my face and started kissing my ear instead. I could feel her breath as it passed my ear time and time again. I squeezed her as she did this, feeling every kiss she gave me. She eventually made her way back to my neck again and she kissed it, running her hot tongue on my skin for a moment.

We shouldn't be--

Why is she--?

What's going to--?

But we need to--

I couldn't think straight, no matter how hard I tried. She came off of my neck, sitting up now, and she leaned toward me. Her lips pressed to mine as I felt her teeth nibbling on my lower lip. She playfully yet carefully licked it, tickling me a bit. I couldn't help but smile. I enjoyed the feel of her warm tongue as it came into my mouth, teasing me, taking and giving in each breath. I squeezed her again, feeling every part of her slender waist and back. Do we really need to talk? I asked myself. This feels so damn good, I thought as Keiko's hands ran down my chest. Her chest pressed into me, our waists bumping against each other's. God, I need this . . . I need you so badly. My hands travelled along her now exposed back, her bra clasps kinda pricking my fingers. My body hungered for hers. A soft sound escaped her lips as she broke away from me. After blinking a few times, I realized that she was trying to stand up. What is she doing now . . .? I wondered as she finished her action.

Her dress fell down quickly after that. I saw her . . . only wearing a bra with no straps and her panties. I looked at her body . . . craving her . . . aching for her. She walked to me and mounted my lap again. More eager than ever, I went to her chest and started kissing her still covered breasts. She moaned quietly as I moved up, licking where her cleavage sat before working my way up to her neck. I felt her hands as they moved through my hair. I couldn't control myself; I got lost in my imagination and let go completely. Her moaning only made me even more aroused with each moment. I started thinking about taking off her bra . . . about taking off my pants. . . about taking off her panties. But before any of that could happen, she grabbed my face and kissed me. Her tongue moved in my mouth, disabling me. God, it felt so good! I didn't even know what she was doing . . . and I didn't want her to stop. I gotta _have_ her, I said to myself. After so long . . . we can have what we've wanted.

We can finally do this . . .

Our kiss was so heavy . . . so intense . . . Her mouth tasted _so good_. I sucked on her tongue as it moved uncontrollably in my mouth, our open mouths going for what was theirs. Perhaps I dazed out for a moment, but when I came to, I was laying down and Keiko was on top. Not that I cared how that happened though. I just clutched onto her thigh as she laid on top of me, her slender body hot and her skin moving against mine. She was just so soft . . . her breasts were even softer as they pressed against me . . . and her kiss was taking my breath away. Our tongues ran wildly in each others mouths . . . wanting and searching.

And then suddenly. . . I couldn't take it anymore. My body, still burning non-stop, wanted nothing else but to feel her rubbing against it. . . to get relief and feel satisfied by what she was ready to do with me. I couldn't hold it in anymore! So. . . I reached down to the fly of my pants and I started unzipping. Keiko, smiling, helped pull them off. Moments later . . . my underwear was gone too! I didn't care though; we both knew what we wanted. Our kiss seemed never-ending . . .! Our hot breaths were moving rapidly in each other's mouths. She painfully stopped the kiss and slowly pulled away, sitting up and looking down at me.

She acted as if she was going to take off the bra . . . but she didn't. She just stared down at me as I rubbed on her thighs and waist. She smiled as I moved my hands on her skin. She bent down and kissed me again. We sucked on each other's mouths, unable to get enough of each other. I let my hands caress her back, my hands constantly interrupted by the bra that still remained. My arms squeezed her as she pressed on me. Just moments later, Keiko pulled away again, leaving me wanting more . . . _so much more_. She placed her hands in the middle of her chest, her fingers on, what I suddenly realized, was the clasps of her bra. She's takin' it off! I rejoiced. I waited for her to finish. My mouth watered as my body burned at the thought of seeing her breasts bouncing and inviting me to do whatever I wanted to them.

She undid one clasp and looked down at me. I ran my hands playfully around her underwear. Maybe I can get them off . . . I said to myself. I started tugging at them a little. She undid the next clasp, distracting me from her panties. Each clasp was like a number in a countdown. Why is she toying with me . . .? I asked her in my head. Well . . . as long as the bra is coming off, I'm good! I told myself. I felt joy rushing throughout me. She glanced down at me again. My mind started imagining me and Keiko . . . rolling around . . . naked . . . FINALLY doing the dirty deed. More excitement came as I continued to ponder it. I licked my lips as I pushed up my hips. I was as hard as a rock . . . and I wanted her to know it. I'm sure she felt me underneath her. My sudden movement took her by surprise at first . . . but then . . . she smiled, reassuring me. I laughed to myself. She wants this just as much as I do . . .! We both _want _this . . .!

The second to the last clasp opened, revealing more of the middle of Keiko's chest. I wanted to reach up and snap open the last one . . . but I held myself off. There has to a reason why she's taking her time, I told myself. I started moving my hands up and down her slender waist. I squeezed her suddenly and she gasped. Another large smile spread across her face . . . the irresistible smile. She quickly moved onto the last clasp. I just wanted to flip her over and get the party started . . . but I waited for her.

As she twisted at the last clasp . . . she hesitated.

Then . . . she stopped. She looked like she was thinking about something. Is she having second-thoughts? Uh-uh! Not on my watch . . .!

"Keiko . . . what's wrong . . .?" I asked, my voice trembling with worry. Dear God . . . Don't let there be a problem. Please don't let there be anything wrong! She grinned at me. Alright . . . Everything _is_ okay, I eased myself. She bent down and moved up my chest, slowly kissing me until our eyes met. She came face to face with me again. Her hot chest pushed up against mine as she ran her fingers through my hair. She kissed me again, pushing her tongue gradually into my mouth. I ached as I moved under her, not sure about how much more I could take; so I placed my hands on her hips, my thumbs moving underneath the lining of her panties. If I just push on them a little, I may be able to get them off, I told myself. She withdrew from our kiss and sat up again. _Please stop toying with me_, I begged, hating and enjoying it all. She reached out to me and put her finger in my mouth as if to console me. Oh please . . . Don't make me wait . . . ! I struggled to stay still. Trying to hide my excitement, I sucked her long slender finger, it's warmth intertwined with my tongue. I had never sucked on her finger before . . . so . . . it was kinda strange, but I did it in hopes that in just a few minutes, Keiko and I would be going further than ever before.

"Yusuke . . ." she said, moaning. She was beaming with pleasure. After what seemed like forever, she slowly pulled the finger away from me. I didn't want her to . . . but I let it go. Keiko brought the finger up to her chest and slowly traced a line. Slowly . . . down her slender finger traveled. This line started at her neck and slowly went down to into her bra, enticing me even further. Ooh . . . Aren't we naughty . . .? I said to myself, laughing. Oh God . . . I love her . . . ! She looked irresistible as she licked her lips. My God . . . I love this woman! I cheered in my head. I moved my lips, inaudibly saying her name. She continued to smile and I did the same. She reached down and touched my face.

I can't believe we're going to do this . . . after waiting for so long . . . I blinked slowly, enjoying the feel of her hand, letting my imagination take flight.

Suddenly . . . Her hand swooped down upon both of my cheeks.

SMACK SMACK! What the hell?! I looked up at her. Her eyes stared at me, but now, she was pissed off! What the--? Weren't we were about to--? What the hell just happened here . . .? What's going on . . .? We we're about to--! I watched her as she climbed off of me.

**"What in the HELL are you doing!?"** I screamed, the reality hitting me like a foul baseball. She quickly dressed herself, practically thowing her clothes on. It wasn't even a good minute. She stood upright now, fully clothed, glaring at me.

"We should talk, huh?" she asked, yelling. "What took you so damn long? How long were you planning to make me wait!?" I sat up, trying to cover myself. My mind tried to slow down . . . but then went blank since I was still on fire.

**"What in the HELL are you talking about!?"**

"We were gonna talk, huh? We were barely on speaking terms. In fact, we just started talking again today! If you wanted to talk so bad, why didn't you come to me!?" I looked at her. _You were the one who said 'Not now . . .'!_ I yelled at her in my head, but didn't have the balls to say out loud. You didn't even want to talk about it . . .! And you don't understand. You haven't heard what I need to say to you. As I looked for something to say, Keiko beat me to the punch and screamed, "I waited for a month . . . ! **A WHOLE **_**MONTH**_** I'VE WAITED FOR YOU!"** After her words, I felt a terrible guilt shoot throughout my whole body. **"**And to think that I've been worried about you . . . that I still loved you!**"** Her eyes were overflowing with tears now. I felt awful. . . well, for a couple of reasons. I wanted to comfort her . . . but with my body aching and since I was the person she was angry at, that didn't seem like a good idea.

"Keiko, you don't understand!" I tried so hard to speak without trouble, but my whole body was shot with the realization that it was going to have to find relief on its own. " . . . I . . . wanted to . . . I was coming to you . . . " My shaky explanation didn't seem to satisfy her.

"Really. . . ? Well, I had to come and find your **Sorry Ass,** didn't I !?" Keiko retorted. She started laughing at me. Every sound she made stung me . . . but . . . I couldn't blame her. I probably looked like a fool, sitting there while covering the only part of me that didn't know what guilt was. She walked up to me and patted me on the cheek. She slowly bent over and picked up her sweater. "Well . . . until you decide when it's a good time for us to 'talk', I'll be somewhere, not thinking about you!" She turned around and walked away. I watched her waist . . . her legs . . . everything that was attached to her walk toward that damn door. Unable to stare at her hot body anymore, I stared at the ground in utter horror. Please come back, Keiko, I begged her in my thoughts. I was in so much pain. "Oh, Yusuke?" Though I wanted to ignore her, I couldn't and found myself lookng up to see her laughing and staring at me. "You don't have to get up. I'll let myself out." She went to the door. I wanted to get up and go after her but . . . if I did . . . I would be in even more pain. I couldn't see her anymore . . . but I could still hear her laughing. Moments later, the door closed. Dammit! Oh God . . . Why!? Everything in me . . . my heart . . . my mind . . . my body . . . ached terribly. I fell over on the couch and just laid there. . . in pain . . . but still . . . wanting . . . Keiko . . .


	7. True Feelings

**Chapter 7- True Feelings**

Keiko was gone . . . Me? I was feeling terrible, frozen stiff with agony in my heart and below where my belt would be. My mind raced and slowed, raced and slowed as I lied there on my couch, blinking stupidly and naked. I can't lie here forever, I said to myself, trying to come out of my funk. I looked at the ceiling, trying to think of what I could do.

"I don't think I can stand up this time," I said pitifully to myself with half a chuckle. My lowers agreed with me, stiffening at the thought of my final option. I shook my head with shame and managed a roll off the couch, falling hard on the floor.

_I_ need to get . . . to the bathroom, I said to my self through gritted teeth.

_I_ need . . . cold water, my body cried to me.

I crawled on the ground, staring at it and over taken by beads of sweat. I wanted to bolt off to the shower, but my body wouldn't let me. My mind was stuck in some moment-by-moment mode, forcing me to take it all in . . . and remember all that happened. . . and suffer each horrible consequence. So I kept on crawling, slowly but surely, away from the place where Keiko and I had had our so-called fun.

From the living room . . . through the hallway . . . past my bedroom . . . and finally the bathroom. . . I crawled.

An eternity of feelings, heart beats, and unbearable arousal. . .

I didn't think I'd ever get there. But I did. I went to the bathtub and struggled to turn the water on. "Come on, Dammit!" As if my hands couldn't operate, I sat there like a clawless cat and tried to turn damn thing. At last the knob turned for me, granting me some sad kind of mercy and cold water flowed out. I then fiddled with the next knob, praying that it too would turn and the shower would start raining down. When it finally did, I brought my arms over the side of the tub, then I brought my legs up and over and kinda flipped into it. Bottom line, I made it in to that slippery son-of-a-bitch. My panting and the water that was coming up and around me devoured my senses for a moment as my body tried to adjust to the temperature. My ear laid near the drain, the sound of the cold water constantly dripping away and gradually getting louder. In no time at all, the sound of the drain was all I could hear. Saving myself from my upcominginsanity, I managed to sit up and turn myself around, putting my feet near the drain and my head at the other end of the tub. I eased myself down again, allowing the gushing water to do its worst. I let my head fall back as the cold water took over my face, my mouth opening and filling up in efforts to quench its thirst for Keiko's lips. Every drop hit my skin, stinging me, and yet trying to relieve my tense and yearning body. I was freezing . . . but it just didn't matter.

I closed my eyes. My back was stuck to the floor. How could this happen . . .? Twice!? I screamed in my mind. But the anger faded as I thought on. My God . . . she was so beautiful though. My lower self raged at the thought, heating up despite the cold that was coming down. The way her tongue moved in my mouth was . . . unbelievable. I spat out the water and bit my lip, my body aching for her. And then, I started. . . laughing. I pushed her away when she wanted me . . . back at Christmas, didn't I? I asked myself. And now she's gone and left me when I wanted her even more. I laughed harder to ease the pain I was feeling. Either way . . . I'm left taking a cold shower because of it. I was panting hard, thinking about the things that happened just moments ago.

Images of Keiko's nearly naked body kept coming to me. . . haunting me . . . exciting me more. I tried to breathe. I'm so stupid. I laid there with my body as hard as a rock, still thinking of Keiko. Everything in me . . . ached so badly. "If only you hadn't of come to me . . . Keiko . . ." I said, completely out of breath. "Why did you come here!?" I shouted. "I was coming to you . . .! Couldn't you wait for thirty more damn minutes!?" I was furious. My body tensed up again, moreso with anger. The water froze every part of me, but . . . it didn't seem to be helping the real problem. Why did she do this to me? Why??!! Each memory hit me, flashing thoughts of her on top of me, the feeling of her body against mine, the taste of her sweet lips. We were both so hot . . . and ready. What the happened?!

I laid there, sorting out my thoughts and exploring my vivid imagination. "I just wanted to--to do what we wanted. " I said. "I just wanted to have you. To finally do this with you . . . Keiko . . . I've longed to make this happen for such a long time . . . but now. . . it's tearing me to pieces . . ." I tried to shake away the thought of her with little success. It was as if she lived under my eyelids; everytime I blinked she was there, making the problem worse. Why did I do that to her on Christmas? I wouldn't be in this situation if I had given her what she longed for . . . what _I_ longed for, I told myself. I thought she'd understand why I did what I did. . . that some time apart would make it better.

She just doesn't get it! I could feel myself getting angry all of a sudden. She keeps saying that she waited! That I hurt her! But I did too! I'm hurting now more than ever! I closed my eyes and heard what I was thinking. A breath in and then out, and a sudden calm soon came to me despite the aching.

Maybe. . . maybe a month is _too _long . . . for us. . . for Keiko. . .

At that thought, my mind cleared. "I can't blame you, Keiko . . ." I whispered. "I can't blame anyone for this . . . but myself," I said, almost as if Keiko were there with me. "I'm such an ass, Keiko . . . for making you wait for me . . . for making you cry . . ." I put my hand up on my head as if to smack myself.

". . . I'm sorry . . ."

Keiko has been so good to me for these last three years . . . but I can't even tell her how I really feel without it being a joke or for shits and giggles. I deserve your anger . . . in whatever form it comes, I thought. I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling. As soon as the water hit them, I closed them again as if scared my the truth. Keiko . . . How can I hurt you . . . so easily . . . when I love you so much . . .?

I need to tell you how I feel . . . I need your forgiveness.

My body ached again, reminding me why I was in the cold shower. I snapped out of my pity at that moment and I moved my thoughts to where they needed to be. How am I going to get this to stop? I looked down at myself, observing how hard I still was. I'm so fucked up. I don't think this pain will ever stop. I sat up in the tub, trying to think about something else. No matter what I did . . . somehow Keiko would continue to sneak into my thoughts, making my mind her home. I threw back my head, bumping against the tub's wall. Keiko . . .

The pain was unbearable. I was starting to get desperate. Maybe I should-- I looked down at my hands, my fingers twitching at the thought of finishing what was started. No! That's my _last_ resort. I looked at myself, still standing on end. I grunted, trying to get my mind off the pain. I closed my eyes again. I can't think of her . . . not right now. I took deep breaths, pushing out all of the thoughts that had anything to do with her. I just gotta stop thinking about her. My memories can't help me now . . . Just . . . calm down. Each deep breath that followed pulled me, my reality slipping and my body shivering with excitement and cold.

God . . . Just . . . let me sleep . . .

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I opened my eyes . . . Where am I? I looked around. It was really dark. Everything was so blurry. I . . . was in my room, standing in the doorway. I was staring . . . at my bed. At first, I thought it was empty, but as my vision became clearer, I could see that there someone was laying there, near the wall. I walked closer, the face growing so much clearer each step I took. ". . . Keiko." I said.

"Yusuke . . ." she said back to me, her voice affected by sleep. She sat up and came towards me a bit, eventually sitting on the edge of the bed. Her eyes locked with mine. All I could see . . . was her beautiful face from where I stood. Everything else about her body was still oddly fuzzy. "Come to me . . . Yusuke . . ." I took the final steps towards her. Every step . . . I could see more . . . and more . . .

I stood in front of her now. I could easily see that she was naked . . . her body clean and perfect. Her chest was heaving softly as she stared on at me and breathed. That's when I realized that I was naked too. As I looked down at my exposed body, she reached up and slowly moved her hand down my chest, her palm as soft as I remember. I closed my eyes, feeling her hand on my skin. " . . . Yusuke . . ." she said quietly. I looked down at her. She took up one of my hands, staring at it as if she were too nervous to look at me anymore. "Do . . . do you. . . love me?"

"Yes . . ." I said without any hesitation. She looked up at me, her eyes widened now as if she were shocked by my answer. "I do . . ." I got down on my knees and looked at her, eye to eye. I took both of her hands and kissed each finger tip, focusing only on showing her that my love was real. "I'm sorry . . . I've loved you for so long . . . And you've never known how I truly felt . . . until now . . ." She looked away for a moment. "I don't ever want to hurt you . . ." I looked into her eyes as they filled with tears. I reached out to her face, wiping away the only tear that managed to fall. "Don't cry . . ." She smiled at me. "I'm not worthy of your precious tears . . ." She reached out and touched my face, her face lighting up with her smile. "Keiko . . ."

"I love you . . ." she said, laying back down on her back. I got up and sat down on the bed next to her, my back now facing her. I felt her hand move up my back, sensually, easing my mind, yet exciting me. "Yusuke . . . look at me . . ." I turned around, seeing her naked body so vividly. I stared as she breathed, her breasts softly moving up and then down as the air came in and out of her. "What do you see . . .?"

"I see _you_ . . ." I answered ". . . the only one that I've ever truly needed in my life . . ." The words just flowed out of me like water. She took my hand and pulled on it, suggesting that I lay down. As my back hit the mattress, I felt her and I sink down together, our shoulders touching. "I _need _you in my life . . ." After a moment of silence, she came up against me, putting her hand on my chest, rubbing up and then down. " . . . but . . ." Her loving eyes glanced up at me, into my soul. " . . . You don't need me . . . do you . . .?" The question came out of me, dying to know if I'd somehow pushed her away because of what I've done to her. Her eyes filled with concern. She hesitated in answering. I feared for what she would say.

"I need your . . . heat . . ." she told me, a small smile on her face. "I need your heart . . . and your love . . ." She kissed my neck. I sighed as she moved gently next to me.

"But, do you need _me _. . .?" I asked, begging for a direct answer. Is it a yes or no? She kissed my neck again and came up to my face. Her nose brushed mine, painfully teasing me with her silence.

"I do," came her reply as she closed her eyes. My hand came up on her back, caressing her soft and cool skin.

"What do you want . . . Keiko . . .?" She opened her eyes and looked at me again. "What do you want . . . for me and you?"

"I want us . . . to be together . . ." She picked up my other hand, intertwining our fingers. " . . . I don't care what anyone else thinks . . . I never have. I--I just want . . . you . . ."

"Then . . . please . . . lay here with me . . . Keiko . . ." She laid her head on my chest. "Please stay here . . . with me . . ."

"I will . . ." she said quietly. I could feel small tears coming to my eyes, her words still touching my heart. Our hands were still together . . . as one. I looked down at her. Her eyes were closed. She had fallen asleep next to me. I let go of her hand and I wrapped my arms around her small body, her soft breathing comforting my soul. I pulled her close to me. I could feel her body adjusting to the change. Her head still rested on my bare chest. I could feel her cool breath on my skin as she snored softly, her cheek moving against me in a cute snuggle from time to time. I couldn't help but smile. I looked at the ceiling as I slowly closed my eyes.

"I love you . . . Keiko . . ." I whispered.

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I felt frigid drops fall on me . . . I opened my eyes.

I was so cold . . . but my body had finally relaxed.

Nothing ached . . . nothing burned . . .

I brought myself up and I reached for the knob, finally turning off the water. It stopped falling on me just seconds later. I stood up and walked out of the shower. I felt so much better. . . so much stronger. Keiko . . . I thought . . . You must know how I feel about you . . . And if you don't, you deserve to know. I grabbed a towel and rubbed it against my cold and pruney skin. Cold shivers ran up and down my spine. I no longer cared for how I felt. I didn't care if I was cold . . . or if I was angry . . . Hell, I didn't even care that my mind was clear. I cared for nothing except for the one who left this place today, hurt and tired of waiting.

I placed my towel around my shoulders and came out of the bathroom. I walked toward my room, taking my time, absorbing my situation, and remembering what I then realized was a dream. I went into my room and closed the door right behind me. I went over to the closet and I grabbed a pair of shorts. I stepped into them quickly. I made my way over to my bed, seeing Keiko there like she had been in my dream before she slowly faded away. I sat on my bed, Keiko on my mind still. "You've been so good to me . . . Keiko." I said aloud, as if she stood there before me. "I still care about you . . . and I don't blame you for being angry . . ." I threw my towel away from me and I laid down in my bed, covering my cold body. I laid on my back, staring through the darkness at the ceiling that suddenly seemed so wide and open. "You must know . . . " I closed my eyes " . . . how much . . . I love you . . ."


End file.
